Memphis Bars

So I've been spending a lot of times in bars in Memphis since I moved. Mainly because it's a side of Memphis I've never seen and mainly because I missed out on the bar filled days of my early twenties sitting at home being Mrs. Cleaver. The interesting thing about the bars I've been to is how diverse they are. The first one I went to was Mugs off of Stage at the top of the hill in Raleigh. A friend of my mom's was having a surprise birthday party there so I stopped by to say hi. This was a true biker bar. Everyone was in dress in black clothes,denim, and leather, except for me in my dress and flip-flops. They were all also pushing or over 40, except for me again. I stuck out a little. I was so uncomfortable walking into the place. I lit a cigarette and called my mom on the phone so I could look all nonchalant as everyone stared at me. I saw my parents Mexican friend Miguel standing next to the door and was so excited when he said "hey chica" and gave me a hug. Once I got inside and saw all the people I knew, I was instantly comfortable. I was Kathy's daughter and everyone hugged on me and talked to me. I stayed long enough to drink the coors light my step-dad bought me, eat a plate of barbecue and say my hellos. The place was wooden floors with Nascar and beer signs on the wall, a door from a stock car on the wall, and an earthy gritty kind of place.I told everyone goodbye and went to find Miguel to say bye. I wish I was fluent in Spanish to know what was being said in the group of older Mexican men looking at me strangely as I approached their group. Miguel had his back to me, and when he turned and saw me, gave me a hug and told me to drive safe. I felt awkward as I walked away with a group of Mexican men looking at me like I two heads.

I left Mugs to go to a co-workers house so we could go hear a band play at Newby's on the highland strip. Everyone there was close to my age and a lot of them lived in or near Midtown. It was weird because I don't normally hang out with people my own age, and I only knew the pharmacist I work with. I couldn't hide behind being Kathy's daughter and had to strike up conversations and make connections on my own. But I did make connections and get to know people. I had a great time and was able to let myself go and enjoy things a little more because I wasn't hiding behind my mother's jeans. I stuck with a coors light, but added a shot of Jack since it was a bar that had hard liquor, and I was in a fun easygoing mood. Newby's consisted of college-aged kids. There wasn't much decoration other than behind the bar and the stage. A couple of booths lined the wall and there were chairs in the back, but no one sat in them. Most people were dressed in a similar casual, but flirtatious style. Not only was I a lot more comfortable out of my normal element, but found myself trying to make another guy, a introverted ITT student by the name of Easy E, smile and let loose. I could relate to the feeling out of place, and wanted him to feel connected to the rest of the group, even if I was an outsider to the group as well. I'm sure I'll hang out with this group of people again and try to do the things a typical person my age does which will be interesting because I've always been around and acted like a much older crowd.

A few nights later I went to Flying Saucer on Germantown with some friends from work I hang out with on a regular basis. I wore jeans and a satin tank with heels and everyone was a little dressed up as well. This bar too was filled with younger people, but at the end of the college age spectrum and slightly older. The bar was kinda cute looking with plates hanging from every surface. They have hundreds of beer choices, but I was a little overwhelmed and ordered a coors light. After a guy I just met, one of those friend of a friend types, made me taste every beer he ordered. I ordered a never heard of Purple Haze while he clued me in on the wonders of its distiller whose name I don't remember. I also had a shot of Rumplements (that's how it sounds, but is probably spelled wrong) because my friend bought us a round after telling us for weeks how good it was. It was horrible. It tasted like a candy cane sickly sweet and smooth, which is bad when you are a Jack Daniel's kind of girl. I was completely relaxed, even though I hate Germantown, because I was with close friends I know very well. I've never been overly fond of preppy, suburb types because I feel so vastly different from that world or lifestyle, but I fit right in. As long as I looked elegantly trashy on the outside, it didn't matter that I had little in common with the people at our table. I fit right in. I talked mostly to my friends, but the friend of a friend of a friend people weren't that bad and we exchanged small talk most of the night. I made two new acquaintances I might see in passing in the future, but meeting people wasn't a priority there.

I discovered a couple things about myself and Memphis on my alcoholic excursions:

• The places I felt I belonged, like Mugs which is similar to the bar I frequented in Millington, were the places I was most out of place.
• Even though I feel like a complete outsider in most situations, I fit in much more than I've been willing to admit. I'm not such a freak after all and can even make other people feel a part of the group.
• I'm most comfortable in bars and groups with a mainly male ratio. Flying Saucer was predominately male, and I had more fun once my girlfriend left and it was me and the guys. The conversation instantly changed, promptly one guy to ask if I should be hearing their discussion, until Sam said I was his guy friend with long hair and boobs. I am most comfortable being myself and people like me just the way I am.
• The only feminine thing about me when in a bar is my cleavage and heels, which makes me blend in or stand out depending on the bar. When going out dress codes matter if you want to be a fly on the wall or really stand out. Know Memphis and your surroundings to get the experience you want.
• Alcohol can make strangers friends, and intimate tells everything without a blink of an eye kind of friends to top it off. Look how well it worked for Skinny Black and DJay in Hustle and Flow. Just remember, these are not true friends yet, they just feel that way because of the alcohol. Don't invest your hopes, fears, and dreams with them until you connect on a more sober level.
• Memphis is filled with a diverse group of people, but nothing puts people at ease like taking an interest in who they are or a well placed compliment. This works especially well when coming from your sex of choice, and it golden and fail proof if they are attractive.
• Alcohol makes people more attractive and their character flaws seem endearing. All political agendas should be discussed over a beer (unless their Muslim because we don't want to offend) while you compliment a random talent of the opposing party and the people of the world would get along much better. I think the City Council and Mayor Herenton need to go out for a couple or drinks with Wendi C. Thomas. It wouldn't solve all of the problems in Memphis, but it might be a step in the right direction.