Presentations/Farewell; I'll miss you all!

I must reiterate, the presentations were beautiful!!! We did it!!! Time for some us to part ways as the semester has ended. We may not all see each other again, as for me, I’ll be graduating and transferring out. It’s going to be hard to say god bye to Southwest Tennessee Community College. This is one of the first major learning experiences I’ve had. I have been provided with a fostering staff, whom all contributed to my success, as they prepared me for institutions of higher learning in the process. Therefore, I’m not intimidated, since I know that I’m adequately prepared for my new ventures. I have spent more time in Southwest’s learning environment, than in any other post secondary institution I’ve ever attended. Attending Southwest has really altered my sense of Memphis. I was able to meet and be around a group of diverse people as I studied, and attended several of the campuses. This really helped me to interact with people since I’m an introvert. Each campus had a totally different atmosphere from the other. I’ve really grown to appreciate STCC for that. As for Honors Inquiry, it provided an experience like no other. I was able to think and learn amongst people who were on the same level as I. This provided for a unique experience in itself. For once I had the opportunity to learn from others verse aid others in clarification of course work. The idea of being around like minded people was almost a challenge for me, if I had not overcome the challenge early, in which case I did. The experience afforded me to be around likeminded people who in essence were very different from me. The opportunity allowed me to learn in a manner that was untypical of what I had previously encountered. It really benefited me to get involved in a course of this magnitude. It had way more to offer than meets the eye. The instructor made the course what it was. The agenda he laid out for us was unique in helping us to meet our educational goals. The instructor made the course much more interesting than what I expected. I welcome this approach from any instructor willing to be unique in educating their students, and for this I am quite thankful.

Why throw away good flowers?

Every morning on my way to school, I pass the big "M" on East Parkway. i really enjoy seeing all the colorful pansies on the hill. This morning when I drove by though, I was astounded to see three city workers pulling up all the flowers. I asked myself, why is the city of Memphis wasting time and money tearing up perfectly good flowers. The flowers were in full bloom and could have stayed there for quite some time and be very pretty. There are so many other parts of Memphis that could use sprucing up instead of that section of east Parkway which is already beautiful. The only explanation I can think of is that's it's on a section of street tourists would drive down to go to the various sights in midtown and downtown. I still think it's such a waste of time and money.

Elmwood Cemetary

I was so excited about the Elwood trip. It's the one trip I had been looking forward to all semester and I was not disappointed. Since I grew up visiting the family cemetery often to clean and have picnics there, I've always found odd comfort in being connected to the past in someway by being in one. Elmwood makes me particularly feel this way because of the history and diversity in the cemetery. I really like seeing the different monuments and markers. I was disappointed we didn't get to see Annie Cook's grave, but was glad I got to see Ginny Moon's. I plan on going back to see some of the graves we missed and do some headstone rubbings for my apartment. As we walked through I enjoyed the tour that was given, but found the private conversations I had with others about what I liked and how the cemetery made me feel much more educational. Thinking and talking about death with others made it an almost intimate experience. I was glad we were able to continue the conversation at dinner for those of us that were able to go to Jasmine's

Jasmine's was also an excellent restaurant that I'll have to go back to. I've never eaten tofu, so to order a vegetarian meal was unusual for me, but it was absolutely delicious. The atmosphere was also nice. I've eaten in midtown once or twice since moving, but an open-air dining experience where I could see all the people walking down the street was quite nice. After Jeni and I ate we went to Quetzcal to use the computers, which is a great Internet cafe/bar on Union across the street from campus for those of you who have never been. It too has a great atmosphere and is a nice place to study, catch up with friends. You do have to pay for the computers, but it's only 10 or 15 cents a minute.

We ended the evening by going to Theatreworks to see a production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. The small theater was intimate and fascinating. The production was excellent and I could not take my eyes off one of the actors the whole night. He was able to convey whole meanings just with his facial expression. It's playing through April 26 and you should go see it if you get the chance. I will definitely be going back to see other productions as well. Being within walking distance of my apartment means it may be my new favorite place to go for a night out.

Honors Presentation

I am really looking forward to presenting my Honors Project. It’s been a long way coming. This particular semester was one of shortest that I could remember. It went by really quick. However, I was able to learn a whole lot as I took an exploration into the Memphis scene. I learned a lot in class as well as a lot out of class. The trips filled with tours were extremely educational and beneficial for me. As I work on my project, I am hoping to reflect just that. My presentation is kind of small in terms of minutes; it should only hold you guys about fifteen minutes or so. But, it contains tons of informative information, which I’m quite sure, most will be able to use. I hope all is coming along fine with you all’s project. As I did my project, I took time to visit the main library on Poplar Ave, to research some of the statistics included in my project. I also took advantage of the opportunity to familiarize myself with the “fairly new library”. Of course, I know it’s not that new, but it is if you hadn’t been there as much. I prefer to study in environments that are much more convenient and that I’m familiar with. To the contrary, the main Library was all but. It was very unique from the school libraries that I am acclimated to. To say the least, it’s much bigger. It altered my sense of Memphis because here again, I was quite impressed. The previous times I’d visited, it was always to the kiddy area. The library has so more to offer. My concept was that, it wasn’t going to be too much different from when it was located on Peabody, couldn ‘t have been more wrong. I took time to observe who visits the Main Library on an average day? What I found was that, this was almost made to be a complex thing to figure, all types of people were there. It is a place full of diversity. For that, I’m able to appreciate Memphis more than for being known as “The Old South.”

Memphis Symphony Orchestra

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine called and asked if I would like a pair of tickets to the Symphony. I have always loved going, and the featured artist that night was Eileen Ivers, who used to play for Riverdance. Riverdance, for those of you who don't know what it is, is a group of Celtic dancers... most of the people are Irish, though there are some of other nationalities as well. At any rate, Eileen Ivers plays the violin (quite beautifully). It just so happened, that my youngest daughter was here that weekend, and she also plays the violin. So, I asked her if she would like to go to the Symphony. She will be 13 in May, and I didn't realize that she'd never been to the Symphony. I've taken her to the Orpheum for a play and she's been to other cultural things, but not the Symphony, and I was glad to be able to remedy that on a night that was so enjoyable to her.

When we arrived at the Cannon Center, there was a group of Irish Dancers performing in the lobby. They are based in Cordova, and they're quite good. Kacy and I watched the dancers for about half an hour from several different vantage points before the doors to the auditorium were opened and we made our way to our seats.

Once we were seated, we had an opportunity to watch and listen as the orchestra players warmed up. I've always loved that part of going to the Symphony. All of the instruments warm up individually, together, so there is a cacaphony of sound that is both pleasing and chaotic at the same time. Kacy seemed to enjoy it too, and because she plays in the school's orchestra, she was able to relate to some of what was going on. She spent a little time pointing out instruments to me, and though I already knew them, I enjoyed letting her show how much she'd learned in her instrumental music classes.

After 20 minutes or so, the Concertmaster came out and tuned the orchestra. The Concertmaster is the person who essentially holds the first violin chair, and in this case, the Memphis Symphony Orchestra's Concertmaster (since 1997) is Susanna Perry Gilmore. The Concertmaster is the person who sets the pace for the orchestra and they also let everyone know which way to bow. This is important because if the violins don't move their bows as one, the chaotic movements distract the audience and take away from the appreciation of the music. Also, different bowings can produce different sounds, so it's important for all of the strings (not just violins) to follow the Concertmaster's bowing. If there's a solo, the Concertmaster is generally the one who plays it, unless it's meant for the guest musician to play. So, when the Concertmaster comes out and tunes the orchestra, what she does is plays a certain note, and one at a time, each section will then tune (for instance) their "A" to her "A".

Now that I've explained what a Concertmaster does, I'll continue. The Concertmaster came out and tuned the orchestra. Then, the Conductor came out and the concert begain!

Our seats were in the Mezanine so we had a really good view of the entire orchestra. What was even nicer was that the music swelled up towards us, so we got, I think, a better and more full bodied sound than we would have otherwise. I've been on the front row, and on the floor in the middle, as well as up even higher than the mezanine for the Symphony, and I honestly think that the quality of sound was better where we sat that night.

After playing a few songs, the Conductor invited Eileen Ivers on stage to play. She has an entire band that plays with her - a traditional drum set, and an accordion-like instrument, and a couple of guitarists. One was bass, I know, and I think the other one was just - a guitar. Ms. Ivers plays Celtic music, but she also blends in a world music vibe to most of her songs as well, and she sings on a few numbers.

I don't think I can break the concert down for you much more than saying it was beautiful and amazing. Kacy said she had the best night of her whole life, which made me feel really good, and also made me very thankful for my friend who gave us the tickets.

After the concert was over, Kacy and I went to the lobby to purchase one of Ms. Ivers' CDs. Kacy was very excited to find that Eileen Ivers was in the lobby, talking to the people as they came up to her. She signed Kacy's CD and talked to her about playing the violin, making the night a complete success.

Kacy has already started asking when we can go back, and I'm considering purchasing season tickets just for the two of us.

the darker side of Memphis

in going around Memphis and talking to people, taking pictures, etc for our project, Faith and I have been reminded of how much poverty Memphis tries to conceal from the world. there are so many people living in pain, pregnant women on the streets, children sick, fathers separated from their families.

I know I feel, at times, that Faith and I are never going to get caught up financially and that things are so hard right now, but I have nothing to complain about. I am grateful that our family had a roof, enough food, and transportation. to say nothing about the tremendous blessing of school for both us and the kids. this project has not only reminded me of the pain Memphis contains, but it has also reminded me to be grateful for all the gifts I have.

Dining at Mrs.Winners

O.K, I visited Mrs. Winners on several occasions. I visited the one in Frayser, the one on Winchester near Mendenhall and also the one near Southwest’s Macon Campus out there off of Summer. Of all the three, I’ve had a good experience. A particular type of customers dine here, I see mostly African American’s when I go. I noticed that you mostly have to request to the employees the condiments you would like with your meal. This has never been an issue for me to do just that. I want to enjoy my meal right? However, my husband and out went out for breakfast, for the wonderful cinnamon rolls and coffee they have there. We decided to get actual food along with the sweet stuff. Wouldn’t’ t you know, I had gotten so in the habit of making the condiment request to the cashier, and was therefore quite astounded when she said, “it’s right there". A nice array of condiments to choose from, coffee creamer, sugar, syrup, different flavors of jelly and any additional condiments you might need depending on your order. My husband and I both, could not help but to notice this. It altered my sense of Memphis because, it seems to be, that some restaurants of the same food chain are better than their counterparts and also operate very different. This has really opened my eyes. Do I have to keep driving father east to get it? It does appear to be the case. I think the inner Memphis restaurants should do a better job of attracting good loyal customers, which is on them. I feel that when they fell to achieve this, their standards go down. It ultimately cuts the customer short, when you’re able to get better somewhere else, the same exact thing that you desired at the other. So now I know, in my experience, the fast food dining was obviously different out in Collierville verses the inner Memphis. I’m late, my husband has always been aware of this fact. When we go out for dining, the only direction he travels is east. I can see why, the experience is better and it’s worth the drive, if you don’t mind the few extra miles, which I don’t. You want o make the most of your outings; the reason you don’t opt to cook at home, right?

public dancing

a friend of mine posted a youtube video that was taken in a train station in the central train station in Antwerp, Belgium. over 200 people performed a dance that they had only rehearsed twice. the public was entranced and by the end you are not sure if all of the dancers are the ones who had rehearsed or if some of the public gets involved. it made me want to be a part of something like this and several years ago I was when we did One River Mississippi. however, it wasn't spontaneous like this and in the middle of such a public place like a mall, etc. it was well attended, danced on the banks of the mississippi, and filmed for Sundance. however, I find myself wondering what it would be like if a theatrical or dance troup, or just a group of like minded people got together and performed something like we see here in this video (I am posting the link) I wonder how Memphians would react. what does everyone else think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

Crawfish Festival

So I made it to the crawfish festival and my first venture into Midtown was a huge success I think. I walked to Bayou Bar and Grill with my folks. My mom was super excited to be going, my step-dad was less enthusiastic, but he's kind of hard to read sometimes. The first band, Snowglobe, did not impress me too much. But Amy LaVere was amazing. She sounded even better live, and she plays the bass, which really impressed me. The crawfish were not so great. I like mine spicy and delicious, but these where kind of bland. The vendors where really interesting though. I got something I think is uniquely Southern, if not uniquely Memphian-honeysuckle incense. It makes me happy when I light it up. I also got a purse made from a Johnny Cash album and album cover as a tribute to my new found love for Memphis music, even though I've been in love with Johnny Cash for years. The neatest thing about the Crawfish festival was the cross-sections of Memphis represented there. There were people from a biker gang, hippie people, college students, and yuppies all converged in the same area and having a good time together. Seeing all these interesting and diverse people made me really want to do an image makeover. I need a new, exciting, different look to reflect all the changes on the inside I've experienced this semester, due in large part to this class. Thank You from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has sat and talked to me as I pondered Memphis, my place in it, and life in general. You all have made me a much better person. I've even stopped using "Ya'll" when typing as a result of the blog. The miracles are endless.

As a side note, I tried another Memphis bar Saturday night. The Young Ave. Deli is a cool little bar with awesome food at the corner or Cooper and Young that had a great band, the Electric Nobody, playing. The post-card they gave me with the band info coincidentally has their picture in front of Arnell's which I know we've talked about in class.

Hustle and Flow Comments

One thing I've noticed about Hustle and Flow is the wide range of feelings and emotions we all have responded to it. A movie like this makes people think and hopefully about new things. I think we have to be careful in our thoughts not to judge or presume things about other people though. Those that know a little about my background, know that I should be the poster child for the lost soul working in a strip club, but I'm not. Not that I'm against it, I was just saved by a decent education and a really good job (that ironically I got because I was 16 and the guy in the pharmacy liked my looks.) I think we've been really fortunate in this class to being open to everyone elses ideas and speaking our mind without stepping on anyone's toes. A movie like Hustle and Flow,however, can step on some toes, and the way we've responded to it has the potential to step on some toes as well. I know I've gotten to talk to except Trenika about the movie, and I understand and respect her reasons for not wanting to see this movie. What amazes me if we've all had different opinions about what the movie says to us and what the movie means as an artform. I think the reason is we all come from vastly different backgrounds, but most of us have been exposed directly to this darker side of Memphis in one way or another. My father owned a strip club before I was born, some of us have worked in them, some of us have had to watch loved ones lost in this world. I think it's fortunate we've all been able to express ourselves honestly in this class and hope we continue to do so in a way that is respectful to where other people are coming from, even if we don't know exactly everyone else's background.

Help Please

I am writing the article on our viewing of Hustle and Flow and a little critique of the movie. I need some more thoughts on the movie, so that I can write a really good article. Does anyone have anything to say about it?

Wal-Mart visits

Hey class, I went out to Wal-Mart in Collierville a couple of days ago. I live near a Walmart. What a difference! Couldn’t’ miss it. For one, yeah the customers were of different ethnic backgrounds, of course. By this I mean, in some Walmart vicinities, the majority of shoppers are African American. On the otherhand, the day I went, I experienced a majority Caucasian crowd of shoppers. The atmosphere was such a nice one to shop in! It was evident that the store was way much cleaner and much more organized! I would definitely drive that extra mile to have a good environment to shop in. Unfortunately, the one I live near, we do not go there at night. Why? It’s just not a good idea, if you can read between the lines. Yeah, what ever you may be thinking it could possibly be, it probably is. Put it this way, if we desperately need something, although the Wal-mart is nearest, we drive a couple blocks more; to shop at Kroger, which is not too much farther. We do this for safety precautions. This has altered my sense of Memphis in way that you would think that a place such as Wal-mart would be family friendly just about at any location. Unfortunately, I’ve come to learn that it’s really not that way, not here in Memphis that is, because I found that some Wal-marts are definitely much safer than others, once I took a good look at it. Before we were really familiar with the Wal-mart I live near, my husband would escort me in and out of there each and every- time. He finally said, were are not coming back, this after we went in the store and only a few cashiers that were working with a crowd of angry customers. And in this part of town, it doesn’t feel good to be surrounded by multitudes of irate customers on the verge of mobbing, this from their own vicious and verbal remarks that they were shouting because of the circumstances. Well, that was enough for us. We more than mutually agreed, it wasn’t worth it. By the way the Customer Service at the Wal-mart was much kinder and customer oriented, they don’t make up reasons why they cannot accommodate a legit refund. You do not have to press the issue on something you’re rightfully entitled to as outlined in their policies under the appropriate conditions of their terms. My thought is that, the Wal-mart near my home, has had so many bad experiences, they do not know how to acknowledge a legitimate customer. Anyways, I do prefer to shop at Wal-marts that are not in close proximity to my home for that particular reason amongst other reasons.

Before Watching Hustle and Flow

I have decided that I think the best way to approach blogging about Hustle and Flow would be to write one blog before watching the movie, and one after. This is because, of all the people in this class, I am the closest to the world portrayed in the movie. I worked in the strip clubs. I have been around the local music scene since I was a teenager. I mean, I've actually met and hung out with Triple Six Mafia, Saliva, and Muck Sticky, to name a few. Also, I was at PT's the night that the movie makers of Hustle and Flow came in and filmed there. So, anyway, I think that a before and after would work great (I'm watching the movie with Krista tonight).

When I worked at the strip club, I met a lot of women with even more stories to tell. Some of them were really sad. Husbands died, leaving the woman to take care of her kids with no money and afraid. Husbands left with all the money, car, and house, and the woman has been a housewife all her life and has no job skills. A lot of them were there to pay for college, like me. Some of them got kicked out of their parent's house, for one reason or another, and didn't know what else to do. My point is, many people automatically look down on strippers and prostitutes, calling them drug-addicted whores who don't want to actually work and try to have a good life, and god forbid they have kids! It makes me sad when people say things like this, because I know that so many of them got dealt a really shitty hand in life and they had nowhere else to turn. I mean, if your babies where screaming because they are so hungry that they are miserable, and you know that if you don't get some food somehow they are going to die, but you just can't get a job because you have no job skills, what would you do? What about if your babies where violently ill and you don't have money for the doctor, and you can't get a job, what would you do? Become a stripper or a prostitute or let your babies die? Most women would choose the former. Thankfully, it never came down to that dire of a situation for me, but I did work there because my family just couldn't afford to send me to college, and I had to pay all my own bills because I wasn't allowed to live with my mother. Now, don't get me wrong, a lot of the women in that world are drug-addicted whores who want to get the most out of life with the least amount of work, and put their kids in danger, and have boyfriends or husbands who beat them. However, a lot of them are great moms or great college students. My point is, everyone in that place, even though it is a bad place where people who are lost turn when they have nowhere else to go, is just a piece of the world like any other job. Those people come together because they all have one thing in common - they don't know what else to do. I saw a lot of really horrible things in the ten years that I worked there. I was the victim of some really horrible things, but believe it or not, there was wonderfully brilliant moments that shined through the darkness brighter than anything I had ever seen. For example, my now dead friend Corie. If I had never worked there, I would never have met her, and I wouldn't know that there can be people in this world who do not have an evil bone in their body, and don't even know how to manipulate or be malicious. I thank God for that. Even though she was murdered, I believe that I was meant to know her, and to go through the pain of losing her. I mean, maybe I didn't realize how unique she was and how blessed I was before she died. I saw some really incredible acts of kindness. One time, one of the dancers let a girl that she had just met move into her apartment with her kids, because they were homeless. Another time, a dancer gave a girl she barely knew a car so she could get to and from work and take her kids to school.

As for the music scene, that one is a lot like the strip clubs, only with clothes...sometimes. Drugs run rampant in that scene, just like they do at the club. Men beat their women, just like at the club. Women don't know that they don't need a man to take care of them, just like at the club. Women go out and sell their bodies, just to return home and give everything they made to their boyfriend/husband/pimp, whatever. I have been backstage at every single venue in this city, except the FedEx Forum, and I have seen just as many horrible things there as in the strip club. In fact, one time when I was backstage during a Saliva show, Josie told his manager to get him some coke or he wouldn't go onstage, in front of everyone, and I mean A LOT of people, and nobody even batted an eyelash. Both scenes are Drugs, Sex, and Rock and Roll, as the saying goes. Most of the time, the two scenes just blur together into one scene - the strippers date the DJ's/musicians, or the DJ's/musicians end up DJing at the clubs, or go to the clubs all the time to do their drugs and get drunk. I have hung out with Saliva, Solace For Now, 666, Muck Sticky, Egypt Central, etc. - all in the club (some backstage at their shows). I've even done gigs in this city, with my not-so-great band God Shaped Hole.

Anyway, my point is that both scenes are pretty much one and the same, and everyone who finds themselves in that world is just a lost soul who's trying to find his or her place in the world and make it to the next day. There is so much sadness, if you take the time to put down preconceived notions and just feel what they feel. Some of them rise above it and get out and move on to live normal, healthy lives, like me. Some of them stay in it until they are old and can't do anything anymore, and are still miserable. Some of them die, like Corie. But all of them are still human beings that deserve a chance to be understood.

Crawfish Time

From the Memphis Flyer:

Of course, we can't forget about the festivals. The 14th Annual Overton Square Crawfish Festival Overton Square is Saturday, April 11th, from noon to 6 p.m.This annual festival, featuring one ton of crawfish, moves across the street this year to the Bayou Bar & Grill's new location. In addition to the crawfish, there will be Cajun fare provided by the Bayou as well as an excellent lineup of live music from Amy LaVere, Jump Back Jake, Snowglobe, and Johnny Lowebow. Proceeds go to the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk.
Next up, it's the Rajun Cajun Crawfish Festival on Sunday, April 19th, at Wagner Place between Union and Beale. You haven't lived until you've seen a crawfish race, but the main event is at noon when 500 pounds of crawfish are given away. Benefits Porter-Leath.

I will be going to the Crawfish Festival at Overton Square. Amy LaVere is an artist I mention in my Sun Studio blog. I'm staying until 5:30 or 6 and am going by at least 2 or 3 when my Mom gets off from work. If you would like to go earlier let me know. I can eat mudbugs more than once no problem. It's a close walk from my apartment, so if you're worried about finding a place to park, you can come by my place and we can walk over there together. Just reply to the blog or call me cellphone if you would like to go.

Memphis Bars

So I've been spending a lot of times in bars in Memphis since I moved. Mainly because it's a side of Memphis I've never seen and mainly because I missed out on the bar filled days of my early twenties sitting at home being Mrs. Cleaver. The interesting thing about the bars I've been to is how diverse they are. The first one I went to was Mugs off of Stage at the top of the hill in Raleigh. A friend of my mom's was having a surprise birthday party there so I stopped by to say hi. This was a true biker bar. Everyone was in dress in black clothes,denim, and leather, except for me in my dress and flip-flops. They were all also pushing or over 40, except for me again. I stuck out a little. I was so uncomfortable walking into the place. I lit a cigarette and called my mom on the phone so I could look all nonchalant as everyone stared at me. I saw my parents Mexican friend Miguel standing next to the door and was so excited when he said "hey chica" and gave me a hug. Once I got inside and saw all the people I knew, I was instantly comfortable. I was Kathy's daughter and everyone hugged on me and talked to me. I stayed long enough to drink the coors light my step-dad bought me, eat a plate of barbecue and say my hellos. The place was wooden floors with Nascar and beer signs on the wall, a door from a stock car on the wall, and an earthy gritty kind of place.I told everyone goodbye and went to find Miguel to say bye. I wish I was fluent in Spanish to know what was being said in the group of older Mexican men looking at me strangely as I approached their group. Miguel had his back to me, and when he turned and saw me, gave me a hug and told me to drive safe. I felt awkward as I walked away with a group of Mexican men looking at me like I two heads.

I left Mugs to go to a co-workers house so we could go hear a band play at Newby's on the highland strip. Everyone there was close to my age and a lot of them lived in or near Midtown. It was weird because I don't normally hang out with people my own age, and I only knew the pharmacist I work with. I couldn't hide behind being Kathy's daughter and had to strike up conversations and make connections on my own. But I did make connections and get to know people. I had a great time and was able to let myself go and enjoy things a little more because I wasn't hiding behind my mother's jeans. I stuck with a coors light, but added a shot of Jack since it was a bar that had hard liquor, and I was in a fun easygoing mood. Newby's consisted of college-aged kids. There wasn't much decoration other than behind the bar and the stage. A couple of booths lined the wall and there were chairs in the back, but no one sat in them. Most people were dressed in a similar casual, but flirtatious style. Not only was I a lot more comfortable out of my normal element, but found myself trying to make another guy, a introverted ITT student by the name of Easy E, smile and let loose. I could relate to the feeling out of place, and wanted him to feel connected to the rest of the group, even if I was an outsider to the group as well. I'm sure I'll hang out with this group of people again and try to do the things a typical person my age does which will be interesting because I've always been around and acted like a much older crowd.

A few nights later I went to Flying Saucer on Germantown with some friends from work I hang out with on a regular basis. I wore jeans and a satin tank with heels and everyone was a little dressed up as well. This bar too was filled with younger people, but at the end of the college age spectrum and slightly older. The bar was kinda cute looking with plates hanging from every surface. They have hundreds of beer choices, but I was a little overwhelmed and ordered a coors light. After a guy I just met, one of those friend of a friend types, made me taste every beer he ordered. I ordered a never heard of Purple Haze while he clued me in on the wonders of its distiller whose name I don't remember. I also had a shot of Rumplements (that's how it sounds, but is probably spelled wrong) because my friend bought us a round after telling us for weeks how good it was. It was horrible. It tasted like a candy cane sickly sweet and smooth, which is bad when you are a Jack Daniel's kind of girl. I was completely relaxed, even though I hate Germantown, because I was with close friends I know very well. I've never been overly fond of preppy, suburb types because I feel so vastly different from that world or lifestyle, but I fit right in. As long as I looked elegantly trashy on the outside, it didn't matter that I had little in common with the people at our table. I fit right in. I talked mostly to my friends, but the friend of a friend of a friend people weren't that bad and we exchanged small talk most of the night. I made two new acquaintances I might see in passing in the future, but meeting people wasn't a priority there.

I discovered a couple things about myself and Memphis on my alcoholic excursions:

• The places I felt I belonged, like Mugs which is similar to the bar I frequented in Millington, were the places I was most out of place.
• Even though I feel like a complete outsider in most situations, I fit in much more than I've been willing to admit. I'm not such a freak after all and can even make other people feel a part of the group.
• I'm most comfortable in bars and groups with a mainly male ratio. Flying Saucer was predominately male, and I had more fun once my girlfriend left and it was me and the guys. The conversation instantly changed, promptly one guy to ask if I should be hearing their discussion, until Sam said I was his guy friend with long hair and boobs. I am most comfortable being myself and people like me just the way I am.
• The only feminine thing about me when in a bar is my cleavage and heels, which makes me blend in or stand out depending on the bar. When going out dress codes matter if you want to be a fly on the wall or really stand out. Know Memphis and your surroundings to get the experience you want.
• Alcohol can make strangers friends, and intimate tells everything without a blink of an eye kind of friends to top it off. Look how well it worked for Skinny Black and DJay in Hustle and Flow. Just remember, these are not true friends yet, they just feel that way because of the alcohol. Don't invest your hopes, fears, and dreams with them until you connect on a more sober level.
• Memphis is filled with a diverse group of people, but nothing puts people at ease like taking an interest in who they are or a well placed compliment. This works especially well when coming from your sex of choice, and it golden and fail proof if they are attractive.
• Alcohol makes people more attractive and their character flaws seem endearing. All political agendas should be discussed over a beer (unless their Muslim because we don't want to offend) while you compliment a random talent of the opposing party and the people of the world would get along much better. I think the City Council and Mayor Herenton need to go out for a couple or drinks with Wendi C. Thomas. It wouldn't solve all of the problems in Memphis, but it might be a step in the right direction.

Hustle's Misogyny

I'm going to be the dissident voice here and say I don't think Hustle and Flow is misogynistic. Yes, the women are treated derogatorily. The men are very misogynistic, but I think the movie gives the women a silent strength that shines through in their situation. If we look at Nola (because I ABSOLUTELY loved her) she's a prostitute, but I didn't think she was trashy or skanky. She did what she had to do to get by. She knows she's capable of more, but not sure what that is. My favorite scene with her is when after having sex to get the microphone, she cries and yells as DJay. She tells him she lets him mess with her head, because it usually needs messing with, but not tonight. She's upset because she wants a say in who her tricks are. She's asserting that she still deserves some control in her life. She's not an overly great women however. DJay does mess with her head and she ends up in a suit,just like he said, giving the mankind speech to people like he gave her. She's lost and needs DJay to tell her what to do to some extent. She's come full circle from the beginning of the movie where DJay asks her what she wants out of life and she doesn't know to a place where she is starting to understand hersef and what she's good at. She's a women who is just as good at pimping as prostituting. I read an article where Craig Brewer was asked how he would respond to the people who criticize his portrayal of women in his films.

I don’t think that you’re talking about all women who have seen my movies. If we’re talking about women who are critical of the way women are treated or saying it’s a misogynist movie, ... I remember one time when I was in Atlanta and one woman said could you explain your thoughts on how women are treated in your movie? I said that moment when he throws Lexus in the street? I said you’ve seen that kind of brutality in movies before?She’s says “no I haven’t,” in this nice little White Southern voice. I said let me explain this one movie to you, it’s about this guy named Stan Kowalski. He’s with his boys and their house playing dominos and their girls are in the next room and they’re making too much racket. Stan’s wife is pregnant. He goes in there and takes the boom box, drunk as all get out, and throws it out the window. Then he starts beating on his wife and punching her in the face. All his boys are grabbing him, putting him under the shower to somber him up. Her girlfriend takes her upstairs and he punches his boys telling them, we can’t have women around when we’re gambling. Then he calms down and says, where’s my girl, my baby? He goes outside and yells “bring her down here.” Her girlfriends say, you can’t be beating on her like that and he yells ‘bring her down her, Stella, Stella! What does she do? She goes
downstairs and she fucks him and she wants to and we kind of want to too. His shirts all ripped, he got put under that shower; it’s Marlon Brando and he looks all good. It’s wrong, it’s really, really wrong!

(How great is it that I'm seeing both this week and didn't make the connection)

Brewer has an excellent point- all this is so wrong, yet so right. It's realistic. The movie may seem harsh towards women, but so is life. We can't have all movies portraying strong, courageous, uplifted women overcoming the men in their lives, because we would have a bunch of fake pretentious movies. I could identify with almost all the women in the movie. I have been the lost Nola doing what I needed to get by. I have been the Lexus being put out on the street by a man because I dared to question his authority, but I rejoiced when she got kicked out. I was even envious of her. As vile and vulgar as she was, she stood her own ground. I wished I had been kicked out at 16 because I grew the balls to tell my father he was my bitch and not the other way around. I grew up and became Yvette, eating alone in my religiosity because my husband was to busy living his own life. I have even been Shug, wide eyed and thankful because some small gesture from a guy meant the world to me. So I don't think the movie is hateful towards women, just honest. If we want a movie where women aren't portrayed as weak prostitutes or bitches who can be discarded, we have to find a way to stop being those things and to stop letting ourselves be treated that way.

The Journey Within

For me, one sure sign that I'm learning and growing is a sense of being uncomfortable.

Last night when we were watching Hustle & Flow in class, I had that feeling several times.

There are some truths about that movie that I want to address:
It is filled with vulgar and rough language &
It depicts what some would consider immoral acts.

However, I think it's easy to get distracted by these very real truths and miss the underlying message of the movie.

I saw people who were on the edge, hanging on with everything they had, and willing to do whatever it took to create more stable footing.

Memphis is filled with that type of person. Most of the people we encounter that we judge - addicts, hookers, alcoholics, gang members - those are people who are on the edge, fighting for stable footing. They're people who are in survival mode, just fighting to make it from one day to the next, and many of them never do find that stable footing. (Or don't know how to be comfortable with it when they do.)

I haven't read the reviews yet because I wanted to just write down some initial observations first, but I will write more once I've read them.

I've been thinking about the movie a lot since credits rolled, and there were some places that are cracking me up and/or playing on my mind.

• When Shelby (played by D.J. Qualls) saw DJay's bling, he said 'Oh man, I gotta get me one of those!' Funny to me because I'm convinced that was adlibbed.

• When Nola told DJay the trick must be working hard as he was, cause the trick had air conditioning and DJay didn't. The air was electric at that moment.

• When Key went to see DJay in jail, and said he and Nola would like to discuss some things with him, if he had time. DJay said 'for you, I got 11 months'. Earlier in the movie, Kay had told DJay that their music venture had to work because he was losing hope in life. I think DJay was telling Key that Key's future played a large part in him beating Skinny up. I think DJay would have retaliated for the slight that Skinny dealt him, regardless, but I think also that the weight of so many futures was on DJay's shoulders, or at least that he felt that weight. I think he felt somewhat responsible for Shelby and Key and Yevette, and wholly responsible for Nola and Shug and Keysha.

I think that's all I have to say for now. I'll say more after reading the reviews.

Oh, and Kathryn, that *was* Josey Scott.

The Strip Clubs of Memphis

The other night I had a chance to do something I never would plan to go out and do, but am so glad I decided to go- I went to a strip club in Memphis. We've talked about the different sides of Memphis, and Krista, Faith, and I have spent many discussions talking about the little seen side of Memphis. This is the side my mother tried so hard to protect me from, but is very much a part of what Memphis is. I didn't realize what a draw Memphis strip clubs could be to travelers. The laws here are not as stringent as in other areas, so people enjoy the experience more. Until Platinum Plus was shut down, the law were almost not existent and the laws we had were not enforced. Some people may not approve of strip clubs, but I found my trip to be a great experience. Everyone was extremely nice, which surprised me since I'm a woman in an atmosphere designed for men. Some of the girls there seemed more at ease with me than the friend who was with me, which made me think of exactly what brought them there. In a profession where they strip in front of people everyday, was undressing in front of a woman really that much easier. I had blindly assumed that these women would build up a tolerance to that sort of thing, but maybe I'm wrong. What exactly goes through the mind of a stripper? Do women in these type of sexually driven professions not become hardened to what they do by the nature of their profession. There was one girl in particular you could tell was not very comfortable on stage and stayed fully dressed the whole time. I started to think of what had brought her here and why she was doing this job she obviously disliked. Are there no other alternatives for young women in Memphis in whatever situation she was in to think stripping was her only option. You also hear about how a lot of these girls are doing it for the money, but it didn't look like to me these girls made much money. In the almost hour and a half I was there I never saw the same girl twice, so I don't know how many times on stage they get a night, but it can't be much, and they don't make a lot of each money on each pass from the amount of money on stage. I only spent $20 while I was there and that was mostly on the two beers I drank. I think my friend spent more, but not a massive amount. I'm sure more money is made behind the curtained area where I didn't see or go. I would be interested to learn more about the economics of strip clubs. Someone is making a lot of money of these girls. Are the girls played hourly and where does all the money go? The most surprising outcome of my trip was that I had a wonderful time and would go back with the right group of friends. I've done a lot of thinking about my religious beliefs over the course of this class and as a means of expressing myself as a person. I am a spiritual person despite what others may think after this post, but there is a difference between organized religion and spirituality. Memphis has a lot of different organized religions, but it also has a lot of deeply spiritual people with no religious affiliation. I am a Catholic, but one who goes to strip clubs. I think this makes me very Memphian and a good analogy of what the city is like. All the draws and drawbacks of a big-city in the heart of the Southern Bible Belt.

Rites to Play carnival

I just thought I'd post on here, I know a couple of us have kids (and a couple of us are just big kids) but Rhodes College is hosting it's Rites to Play carnival this Saturday. this is the email I got, it sounds like a bunch of fun. I'm going to be stealing my kiddos back from my ex since my beautiful wife will be up at the school working on the Southwest Source. anyway, here's the email I got.

Need to entertain the kids for a day? Bring them to Rhodes to help uscelebrate our 12th Annual Rites to Play children's carnival! The eventwill be held on Saturday, April 4 from noon until 3 P.M. in Oak Alley(the rain location is the Bryan Campus Life Center). Our theme thisyear is "It's Out of This World!" There will be FREE food, games,prizes, and music! Enjoy carnival favorites, such as the moon bounce,dunk tank, and dart game. The event is open to the Memphis community,so come join us for a day of fun at Rhodes College! Come Celebrate the 12th Annual FREE Rites to Play Carnival!Saturday April 4th, 12-3 pmRhodes College, Oak Alley/Buckman Lawn2000 N. ParkwayOpen to the Public All Ages WelcomeFree Games, Food and Prizes!

Brooks Lecture and Trolley Tour

I really enjoyed the Brooks lecture, mostly because it made me look at art in a new way. I've always liked traditional art. My favorite is William-Adolphe Bouguereau's Au Pied or At the Foot of the Cliff which is on display at the Brooks. He is a very traditional artist and he's my favorite. His painting The First Kiss sometimes called Plato's Kiss was the inspiration for the -email name I've used since high school But during the lecture was about how new forms of art are not always seen as art or accepted. I realized I had a pretty close-minded definition of art. Then there was a sculpture that changed everything. It's call Fred the Frog Rings the Bell. It's an amazing depiction of a frog on a cross. I shouldn't like it and should find it sacrilegious like any good Catholic girl, but I absolutely love it and want it hanging on my wall. The next night when we went on the Trolley tour I tried to look at art that was appeasing to my eye that I would normally not look at because I thought I shouldn't like it. There was one black and white painting of a nude woman with an arched back I thought would look great in my bathroom. I thought the trolley was interesting. There are no good maps or directions and it was very confusing trying to figure out where to go. I think downtown is great to go, but parking and getting around is horrible. I had to drive around the block twice to find somewhere to park to meet everyone. I would go downtown more often if I could find things easier and get around easier. I think Prof. Branch had a great idea of the trolley needed to go all the way down to Midtown. I would go downtown all the time if I didn't have to drive or park and could get on a trolley near my apartment. I was really glad we finally got to eat at the Arcade. It was a nice little diner to eat in and I was surprised they had so many things to choose from besides the burger and shake staples.

GCT experience

it's been a while since I blogged thanks to a belligerent blogger account but I finally figured out I needed to change my password, so I'm back...

I enjoyed the whole theatre experience. dinner and the play. I was really touched by the heartwrenching scene where they discover that the husband has lost all the money, but I was also really angry. I mean, honestly! she knew that he was irresponsible with money and she had to know he was going to do something like that. I lived as an enabler for a long time and I'm angry at myself for the enabling that I did in the past and I find that now that I'm past that I do not tolerate it well in others. so yes, I was touched by the emotion displayed by the actors, but I was predominantly angry at the foolishness of the mother. I completely agreed with the sister's response. I might have even gone further, except I shy away from confrontation generally (just ask Faith!). although, this might have pushed me so far that I'd have exploded.

and I agree with Faith about the end. I didn't see why taking the money offered by the neighborhood association representative was so wrong, I would have taken it, in fact I would have tried to get them to offer more. if they're going to be like that, then they are going to have to pay through the nose. and maybe that's vindictive, but that kind of attitude makes me angry and I would have probably responded that way just out of sheer anger. then I would have taken their money, waited until another house came up in the same neighborhood, and bought it. I think that any form of persecution should be punished and I know it might be considered wrong to have that attitude, but I have suffered in my own neighborhood after I came out of the closet and it makes me just as angry there.

anyway, enough ranting. other than being angry at the stupidity of the characters, I thought the play was beautifully done and a nice comment on the insanity of the time. as we discussed yesterday in english when talking about Blanche vs. Stanley on the spectrum of sanity vs. insanity, sometimes the sanest people have the most insane actions...

5 Reason I love my apartment in Midtown

OK, so I'm finally moved into the wonderful building at 1957 Madison and I must say it's better than I dreamed. What exactly is so great about being here well, let me tell you...

1. I love the sound of cars driving by at all hours. I grew up on Stratford (for you non-native Memphians Stratford is what Covington Pike turns into after the car dealerships before dead-ending into Summer) and cars drive by at all hours. At night I was serenaded by cop cars, fire trucks, the occasional big rig, plus dozens of cars, trucks, and vans. When I moved to Tipton Co. and Millington I missed the feeling of being in the middle of something. I love seeing the neon signs filter through my bedroom window and the rumbles from the street below. Even in my sleep I'm part of something.

2.I love the black and white alcove that is my shower. I love how it feels like a little sanctuary. It even had an arched overhead. I love how old bathtubs are long enough I can stretch my legs out in, which is hard to do with long legs. I even love rediscovering how in old buildings the hot water takes a while to heat up, so you're standing in the shower and the temperature jumps suddenly 10 degrees and then it's scalding hot. It reminds me of being a kid and learning the right combination of hot and cold before you got in the shower.

3.I love being close to so many things. It's less than 20 minutes to school and work. There's so many places to go and try new things that I don't know where to start. I want to go back to the Vietnamese Restaurant; I want to go to Bosco's and Blue Monkey; I want to go to Beale St. I can't wait to have more time to discover all the wonderful things Memphis has to offer.

4 & 5. I love doing something I've always wanted and discovering myself. I've always wanted to live in Midtown, but there was always someone telling me I couldn't. I hate it took me getting a divorce and turning twenty-six to discover myself, but I'm so glad I finally am. This move feels like what I should be doing. I am a Memphian. I love this city and am glad to live here. Even with the crooked politicians, soaring crime rate, and sinking educational system, I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. This class has shown me all the great parts of Memphis I've missed out on and I can't wait to get out of my new place and get out into Memphis

Jabber Blabber's Birthday Party

My husband, Mr. Mom and I spent a day out with the kids about two weeks ago, instead of me being held hostage by studying. We had an awesome time. The kids came back with big bags of assorted candy. They watched a movie, ate popcorn, and had a soda. Get this class, it was all a freebie. Yep, no $ involved what so ever. This was a convenience for us. The family likes to get out often, and allow me study time, but it always comes at an expense. Fortunately, I was able to join them at this annual, event. Just so happens our children love to read! Our oldest child always have us to stop at the Jabber Blabber stands everytime she knows there’s a new edition out. There are all sorts of nice events and activities for kids to do and places to attend in that newspaper. This experience has altered my sense of Memphis in that, I always thought we had to travel outside of Memphis to have a great time, especially since they took away Libertyland. My husband’s a big kid at heart, so not only did we have to come up with something for the kids, but in the same manner, something to accommodate him too, as he likes to get involved in the outings that they enjoy. He pretends to cover up his motive by acting as a chaperone. But, anyway, I’ve been very amazed by all that Memphis has to offer if you know the right places to look and go. My concept has been that Memphis is boring and dangerous, so most of the time-I stay home. That’s history now, because as I’ve grown to investigate Memphis more, and surprisingly, I’ve found there are actually plenty of things to do here, all within the city limits. I’ve been more informed of Memphis now more than ever. Not only are there things to do as I’ve experienced this with you all as a class, but here again, they can come at no expense or a small fee. I’ll be glad when the semester is over, so I can get out and enjoy some things. I’m so excited and glad I was able to get to get expose to parts of Memphis from this Honors Inquiry class, it has lead me to new found opportunities!