Lost in Wonderland

Lost in Wonderland
"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
(Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 6)

I felt like Alice lost in the woods trying to figure out “What am I doing here?” For some reason I thought that we would be getting a little information about the history of Overton Park, but I failed to realize that we would be taking a trek through the woods…something I vowed I would never do. I am allergic to every tree, grass and many plants that grow in the forest on top of that I fear just about everything that has more legs than me. So the idea of walking about in the woods with spiders, bugs, trees, more bugs, grass, and did I mention spiders, well it did not quit excite me. With my fears and allergies it was only crazy of me to put myself in the middle of an allergic reaction for the sake of knowledge.
Fortunately, for me I am a daredevil and cared more about missing a class than having an allergic reaction, and I am grateful that I did not miss that opportunity. The forest was majestically beautiful in the sense that I felt that I was the only one there even though the group was one of the largest the guide had experienced. I imagine that I was like Huckleberry Finn searching the woods for a safe place to hide, or Alice lost in a place just as foreign and mystical as wonderland. All of the greenery reminded me of something out of a great book…a place you want to run free in with the innocence and adventurism of a child looking to discover new territory in the wilderness in the middle of Overton Park.
The tour was great, with all the new information about the importance of each tree and the type of fruit that it bears for its visitors to enjoy. For some reason I did not see the connection in the beginning to anything that we were reading about in the Rushing book other than the part about the expansion of Sam Copper through the park, but the more the guide spoke of the struggle to keep the park today I realized that this was a battle that many Memphians still fight today. The park is truly one of the most interesting parts of living in the city, especially since I have a child that loves to be outside in the grass, climbing trees and needs a safe place to swing and play.
After that day I found myself drawn to my new mystical haven wondering if there was something there that had not been seen. May there is really a gnome or troll hiding in the large hole of the oak we explored. I don’t know, but as with all great experiences the second time is never as great as the first. So as I reencountered the forest with my son, the trees looked old and I realized all of the bugs that I failed to see the first time. The forest lost its magical flare or maybe I let wonderland only existed because I did not know what to expect and now only dirt lay before me.

Can Fighting for Rights be Civil?

A person can read a million books and never understand the complexity of the writer’s ideas, but to hear the voice of said writer will make you see and believe in the power of words. Throughout history the struggle for equality has leaped from race to gender and then to sexuality. The Civil Rights Museum is a glimpse into the history of a battle that lives on in the lives of many people across the world. In my small knowledge of the fight for civil rights I have found that the more enlightened and understanding we become as a society the more civil the fight can end.
The civil rights museum was a visit to the past and reminder of the struggle that many people face today. Even in our "Free" America we are still bounded by the ideas of the people that preceded us. Are we ever going to be free from the veil that blinds us to the truth or are we bound to continue searching for freedom that may only exist in our minds?
As I took the stroll down "Memory Lane" and revisited the stories of my grandparents I felt a piece of myself awaken abruptly. It felt great to walk through the museum and hear the words of Dr. Martin Luther King as he gave some of the most prolific speeches about the rights of a "free-man", and every image that I had the pleasure of viewing sparked a sense of pride to say that someone did the painful so that I can be here.
I was a little shocked about how little emotion I felt about what happened in the past, as I overheard many people voice their distain of the past. Had I become so used to my "freedom" that I take for granted the suffering many had to endure for me to receive it? I think not. I can have the same fire about my son's future without feeling a need to be angry about the past. The death of Dr. King was terrible but I wonder if we would have gotten the same results if it were not for him being a martyr?
Unfortunately I am not one of those people that can take a look at something and see it for what it is. I have to probe and dissect the very images that are in front of me to figure out the foundation of its existence. So why is the death place such a national treasure? Are we celebrating the life, mourning his death or just revisiting the past as I found myself doing today? They say you can’t know where you are going until you understand where you came from, and the Civil Rights Museum is our small reminder that until we are all treated the same based on merit and not gender, race or sexuality then the struggle continues. Sometimes we need little reminders to get us off our butts and do something, not because it will benefit us but because it will be the marker for the next generation to reach for a little more than us.

Wanda Rushings: YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!!!!

It amazes me how people from the outside can always find beauty in things that go so unappreciated. Would you believe that Wanda Rushings isn't even a Memphis native. She was born and raised in North Carolina. I couldn't belive it myself. It made me realize what big of impact that Memphis has on people. My whole life, all I ever wanted was out. I always wanted to head out to Los Angeles. California has always intrigued me. However, I've become open to the many beautiful, interesting, and historical places in Memphis.
Wanda brought out a quite a few things worth noting. She said, "Places lose their individuality due to globalization." Nevertheless, Wanda refuses to believe that Memphis has loss its individuality. She talked about Beale Street. She gave great insight as to what it was and whta it has become. I believe Wanda's first time coming to Memphis was for a job interview in 1998. Personally, as a Memphis native, I'm not all too into Memphis. I don't really visit around Beale street or midtown often unless I'm with my honors inquiry class. Before taking that class, I really had no interest in it at all. Wanda's interest and love for Memphis is so relative and foreign at the same time. I understand why she loves Memphis but I don't seem to love it for those reasons. To me, Memphis is home. It's not Beale street, it's not Sun studios, and it's not the blues.I love Memphis because it's what I know and it's where I've made memories. I feel as though Memphis is to Wanda what Los Angeles is to me.
All in all, Wanda's book makes me realize just how much there is all around me. Memphis isn't L.A. but it has just as much style, a style I'm still learning about.

Mystery Train

The movie Mystery Train is one movie that effectively told us three different stories. The first segment of the movie was titled " Far from Yokohama. " It told the tale of a Japanese couple whose love of the 50's, Elvis, and Carl Perkins led them to visit Memphis. This segment was so very entertaining and unique. It was nice to see Memphis through their eyes. The female half of the couple, Jun was such a sweetheart. She was a huge Elvis fan and she seemed to enjoy Memphis although it was clearly less splendid than her hometown of Japan. The male half of the couple was Mitsuko. He was almost Jun's polar opposite. He was extremely laid back and not easily excited. Mitsuko was obsessed with Carl Perkins, and not entirely convinced that Elvis was the king of Rock and Roll. He added something special to the story, and it was nice to see the couples mild arguments and their contrast in personalities.

The second segment was entitled "The Ghost." It was the story of an attractive and gentle Italian woman Luisa who found herself stuck in Memphis after having a flight delay. She had not intended to visit, and she did not fit in to the landscape of the city at all. She almost seemed to trusting and gullible to be a Memphian. This portion was entitled "the Ghost" because of a hilarious story that a homeless man told Luisa about the ghost of Elvis. Luisa was not quite gullible enough to believe his story, yet payed him for it all the same. Towards the end of the story, she finds herself sharing a room at the Arcade Hotel with a talkative woman named Dee Dee. Their contrast in personalities was an absolute pleasure to watch.

The last of the stories was "Lost in Space." This story dealt with Memphis from more a resident's perspective opposed to a tourists perspective. Three guys go on a sad yet humorous series of adventures that included everything from playing pool to robbing a liquor store and killing a man. They too end up at the cheap Arcade hotel. This story was a lot darker than the other two.

What I personally enjoyed most about this move is the unity in the plot. It is very difficult to construct a movie with three different segments and groups of characters, yet one setting. The way in which the movie was written was absolutely ingenious. Additionally, I thing this movie was a unique attempt to portray Memphis with all of it's splendor and glory, and all of it's many flaws. I would definitely recommend this to my friends.

Beale Street and all of its "authenticity"

I'm not one to really get out. I guess you would say,"I'm a homebody." But to be honest, I never really had a big interest in Beale Street. I'm either in Southaven, MS or Whitehaven. I frequently go to the movies. I've enjoyed films at the Malco Paradisio, Desoto Cinema, Majestic Cinema, and the Summer Drive-in. I LOVE MOVIES!!! I'm not a clubber, therefore Beale Street wouldn't be one of my typical hangouts. However, this past Tuesday came a new image of Beale Street. I window shopped at one of the oldest shops in Memphis on Beale Street, met blues playing men who said, "I had a hole in my soul," and I ate some pretty good mozzarella sticks at St.Patricks while discussing the issues of Memphis with my professor and classmates.

D0wntown brought many other experiences in my life. I've rode on a trolley before in Nashville, TN (a avery long time ago) but now I can say that I've rode on a trolley in Memphis! I also discovered that Memphis has an American Apparell! It's a very popular clothing line that excentuates the styles of the eighties. Me and Graham were impressed by some of the styles but not too crazy about there prices. I'm sure we could find some marked down American Apparell at TJMAXX or Marshalls. Oh and don't let me forget to filll in everyone who's not in on the 411 of Graham. That night I learned that Graham was fifteen years old!!! No, he didn't act fifteen years old, he is actually fifteen years old. Usually, I'm used gto being in classes were the my classmates are older than me. Graham is younger than me and it's kind of crazy how I'm always the last to know eveything. He's also an actor!!! What are the odds???? To think, I learned all of this on Beale Street.

My Beale street experience......

It was about 3:30pm on a Tuesday evening, as a class we boarded the Madison trolley. This wasnot my first trolley ride, so I just sat back and viewed the scenery. Usually when I am on the trolley the sun is about to set. This ride allowed me to see images that I could not see at night. My fare was a dollar which was very inexpensive. Thanks to Graham I was able to ride the trolley because the smallest bill I had was a twenty. I was trying to view Beale street in the eyes of Randa Rushing and the characters of Mystery Train. What a view! I felt like a tourist in my own city. I had never been on Beale street and visited stores and restaurants. Tinisia, Tiera, Monia, and I went to A. Schawb's. That store was amazing! Upon entering the store, it appeared to be small and not very appealing. Once inside my thoughts changed instantaneously! The smell reminded me of mildew or old mop water, but the items in the store were wonderful. I purchased a humorous sign as well as a very dark skinned Aunt Jemima. There were a number of antiques in the store. I saw swords, mugs, plates, ceramic elephants, etc. I am definitely going back there.
Next we went to Silky Sullivan's. There was a live musician playing and the atmosphere was very subtle. You could have a drink and eat barbecue nachos. The people were friendly and hospitable. I ordered a fried chicken salad and cheesecake. The food was surprisingly good. Overall I had a wonderful night and I made it home in time to study for my biology exam. I can say i knocked two birds out with one stone!

The Unsolved Mysteries of Memphis, Elvis, and the train

In the film, Mystery Train, people of different nationalities find themselves in the City of Memphis and a cheap hotel. The movie lets us follow a young teenage Asian couple, an Italian woman, a talkative woman from New Jersey, a barber, a man who looks like Elvis Presley, and a man named after a character in the television series "Lost in Space". The movie is better than what it appears to be. It seems as if maybe the camera used to shoot it wasn't top notch but that is made up for with great dialog, amazing cinematography, and good acting.
In the movie a character who isn't apart of the cast but still has a presence is Elvis Presley. To Mitsuko he is what it means to be an American. She idolizes him and sees him as a hero. Jun isn't too impressed with the city of Memphis. He dresses a bit old fashion but seems to enjoy the modern things in life. Mitsuko looks like an Asian version of Madonna. However, she appreciates the antique looks of the train station. I think they were searching for something grand and found that it wasn't all what it was cracked up to be.
In "The Ghost", Louisa, an Italian woman, isn't looking for anything. She gets conned out of her money a few times. She views Elvis as a cool, famous singer. However, I feel as though maybe Elvis's ghost lost him cool points with her. Louisa leaves Memphis having found a better sense of what people are about and a greater appreciation for where she comes from. Dee Dee is quite the character. She isn't as phased by Elvis. To her, Elvis is her boyfriend Johnny. She's searching for a fresh start without him.
"Lost in Space" is a sequence were guy loses girl, guy gets drunk, guy shoots someone in a liqour store, and guy becomes a fugitive. Johnny isn't American. Though he resembles Elvis with his hair and drunkeness, Johnny is from London, England and his girlfriend Dee Dee just walked out on him. To Johnny and the rest of the cast in part three, Elvis Presley doesn't really matter. He's just a person who was apart of the music culture. The guys seem to look for the answers to their problems but only look for it inside alcoholic bottles and what they find is trouble. For me the movie was great and inspirational. I feel it will have a lot of influence on my upcoming project.

Mystery Train

In the movie Mystery Train there were three stories told simultaneously. One story included a Japanese couple that came to Memphis, Tn to see Elvis Presley's estate and Sun Studios. Another story entailed a woman from Rome that came to Memphis and was told a false tale about Elvis by a beggar. Also she was "ripped off" by a clerk who continuously suggested that she buy magazines. She ended up paying a hotel fee for herself and another lady from New Jersey that broke up with her boyfriend. The last story was about three men that got caught up in a horrendous act. A drunken man shot a liquor store clerk. One of the gentlemen realized that his sister broke up with her boyfriend and left town without telling him.
All of these stories had a common theme which was Elvis Presley, Memphis, and a hotel that everyone stayed the night in. I believed this story focused more on brotherhood because each character had someone to lean on when they were going through a major "crisis." I believe this movie was structured in three parts so we could figure out the similarities in each story.
Elvis was so important in this film because when people think of Memphis they automatically think of Elvis! He defines what Memphis is in their eyes. He is the king. "Thank you very much". It seems to me that all of these people are trying to see Elvis or find out more about Memphis's history and its inhabitants.

Mystery Train

Did anyone notice how the paintings of Elvis began to look bad from one room to the next?

Memphis Animal Shelters

I am a huge animal lover, so when I read about how the animals were being abused at the Memphis Animal Shelter in the Commerical Appeal this morning, I became extremely angry. Apparently, the Memphis Animal Shelter was served a search warrant before sunrise because the animals there had been being abused, some were even starved to the point of requiring euthanasia. The article neglected to mention if the abuse was related to a lack of funds, or negligence from the employees. Our new mayor A.C. Wharton claims to do something to improve the conditions, which makes me feels a lot better, but it saddens me that it was happening in the first place. Clearly America is a country of animal lovers, Michael Vick was temporarily dismissed from the NFL for conducting pit bull fights. Therefore, I really upset to hear that animals are being abused in a place where they should be a temporary safe haven for them. Also, I looked up animal shelters in other cities in Tennessee, and the conditions there were much better than the Memphis Animal Shelter, including the animal shelter in nearby Bartlett, Tennessee. I sincerely hope that something is done about this in the near future because this problem does not seem all that difficult to fix.

Shelby County Residents v. Memphis City Residents (Whites v. Blacks)

A.C. Wharton is now the new Mayor of Memphis, Tennessee. I was watching the news when the election results were announced and I saw how happy all of his supporters were. All of them seemed to be very excited about the results and were very proud to show their support for Mr . Wharton. The one question I would have liked to ask his supporters was, "What is your view on consolidation?" You see it is very obvious by his campaign logo (One Memphis) that he sincerely believes in consolidation. No more Shelby County Government, only Memphis City Government. Consolidation would elimate two public school systems, two fire departments, two mayors, two different councils, two police forces and supposedly make our great city equal in all aspects. The City of Memphis would like better public schools, but Shelby County does not want Memphis' crime. For some reason whenever the issue of consolidation is addresses on television it seems to be white v. black.

This leads me to believe that regardless of the transparency that Mayor Pro Tem Myron Lowery claimed he brought to the Mayor's office, we are still a city divided. The City of Memphis would very much like to share the cost of everything with the county. The City of Memphis is more concerned with the monetary aspect. Then there are the people I see on television being interviewed from Shelby County. They comment on the fact that if consolidation happens their schools will deteriorate and the crime rate will raise. For some reason all of the people interviewed for the County are white and those for the City are a mixture. Also, those who are interviewed for the County seem to have a chip on their shoulder. Those who are interviewed for the City seem to be more laid back, or shall I say "Hospitable."

I am not quite sure what Mayor A.C. Wharton has in store for the City of Memphis and only time will tell. I only hope that he can end this Shelby Residents v. Memphis Residents and bring us together as "One Memphis."

Women in trouble

I went to see Women in Trouble during Indie Memphis week. I thouhgt the movie would depict issues relating to women's rights or crimes against women. This movie was totally opposite of what I imagined completely! The story line was going in very different angles. The best part of the movie was the ending. A little girl realizes that her aunt is not her mother and in turn she forgives her biological mother for lying to her. An adult film star finds out that she is pregnant and wants to tell her movie star, "one night stand", but he bumps his head on the bathroom sink and dies. She did not have to tell him anything in the end. Another young lady thinks her friend forgot her birthday and doesn't find her attractive enough to date. The friend tells her that she did not forget her birthday because it was not until the next day! How ironic is that! The young lady did not even know her own birthday. This movie is not something that would see on a daily basis. It was random, yet it was an unforgettable experience.
The movie theater was wonderful. I thought I had not been there before, but I had a long time ago on a class field trip. The movie theater could be easily missed because it is on a little sid street. I enjoyed the theater quite a bit. It was small and cozy. They sold fruit bowls and coffee. Great place to hang out with friends.

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia

This was my second year attending the Memphis Independent Film Festival and the only thing I have to say is "Thumbs Up." I cannot begin to explain the The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. The only thing that comes to mind is Ghetto Ass White People. There isn't a drug that they don't do and they have sex with just about anybody. They are the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of D Ray and Bertie Mae White. Jesco, Maime, Poney, Sue Bob, and Bo are the children of D Ray and Bertie Mae. Bertie Mae also raised children who were left my their parents or their parents died.

The White family gained notoriety after the documentary the Dancing Outlaw was released. The documentary focused on Jesco who learned the art of mountain dancing from his daddy D Ray. Throughout the documentary I never saw another one of the family members moutain dancing. Therefore, I assume no one else knew how to do the jig. The rest of the family is basically famous for being bad. Jesco supposedly has a huge hole in one side of brain from huffing gasoline. There was not one White who lived in Virigina who did not do drugs, except for Bertie Mae. The others smoked weed, sniffed oxycotin, drank alcohol, popped pills and did whatever else they could get their hands on. My fault, Kirk, Bo's daughter, stated that she never did angel dust. Sue Bob's son, Brandon, got extremely high one night and tried to kill his Aunt Mamie's boyfriend, set a car on fire, and had a shoot out with the police. When he was interviewed in jail he commented on how the judge liked him and would probably give him an alternative sentencing, such as house arrest. Brandon was eventually sentenced to 50 years in prison. Mamie's daughter Mousie was being released from jail during the documentary and trying to hook back up with her husband Charles, who previously slept with her cousin Kirk.

I know what you are thinking. I can tell you everything about this documentary and it still won't be the same as watching it on the screen. While watching this film, I was constantly thinking how it relates to Memphis. Well, I know some moms and dads who smoke weed with their kids. I know at least two bank robbers. I know plenty of baby momas and baby daddys. I have known people who pop x-pills and viagra. I know people who love to fight just to fight. Basically, I have known and still know some "Whites" in Memphis, Tennessee. If the Whites were to move to Memphis, they would be a perfect fit. If someone had told me about the Whites before I saw the movie, I would swear up and down they were black. Okay, I have one more thing to tell you about this film. During one part of the film, Derrick, Bo's son, asked if you wanted to hear the Boone County mating call. He then holds up a prescription pill bottle and starts to shake it. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen.

All and all this film was hillarious, yet sad at the same time. The Whites make you laugh, but you wonder what is really going on with them. I began to think maybe they all were bipolar and no one had diagnosed them. There has to be something missing. However, I cannot lie and say that I did not enjoy each and every minute that I had with the Whites.

My Re-Visit to Elmwood Cemetary

A few weeks back, we went as a class to experience the historical Elmwood Cemetery. Our visit was almost life changing for me. Before our visit, I never viewed a cemetery as a place anyone should EVER go unless they are there to celebrate the life of a loved one. After experiencing the cemetery as a class, I had a complete change of heart about cemeteries, and over the break, I found myself back at the last place that I ever expected myself to be in my spare time. During our fall break, a few friends of mine came back into town from school. We were looking for a quiet place outdoors to have bible study, and I suggested that we go to Elmwood Cemetery. The experience was even better than the first time when we went as a class. We got the opportunity to do the audio tour, which is extremely informative and interesting. It tells you about the construction of the tombstones and gives background information on the people who are buried there. Also, we bought a book in the gift shop that shows pictures of the tombstones in their original condition. Additionally, one of the workers informed us of a website that we could go to to track our ancestors and find out where they were buried. Since then, we have went on the web, and one of my friends found her Irish great-great-great-great grandfather's grave right here in Memphis! It was so exciting to research our history together, and I believe that it brought us closer in the process. I encourage the rest of our honors students to track their ancestry. There are many sites on the web that are dedicated to helping people find information on their family members. You never know, your great-great-great-great grandfather could have been a famous war hero and you never knew it!

A Date With The Doctor

Last night was quite interesting, to say the least. I enjoyed the company of Dr. Poussaint, a leading black pychiatrist. I didn't think the speech would be all too entertaing but once again I was proven wrong. Dr. Poussaint touched on issues of race, child abuse, social equality and lack there of. Poussaint didn't hesistate to mention the stats. He informed the audience that 80% of prison inmates are high school dropouts, meaning 6 out of 10 high school dropouts are are prison inmates; 40-45% of all prison inmates are black, 1/3 of homeless people are black men; chidren from upperclass parents will hear 20,000,000 words by age 3, and chilren from lowerclass parents will only hear 1,000,000 by age 3.

Poussaint entertained the crowd when describing his own life stories as a child. Once, as a school boy, he felt embarrased by all the other kids because he knew he couldn't speak as well as they did. So, he hid. His teacher pulled him out of hiding and made him talk and once he did she told him he had a speech impedement. She said that he needed a speech pathologist. He fired back saying, "Well, let's go get all the kids from the block 'cause they talk just like me." Watching the time , Poussaint tried not to be long with his talking. That brought out a story of when he and his father would go to church. When the preacher put his watch on the podium, Poussaint asked his father, "What does that mean?" His father would reply, "Not a damn thang." Poussaint had the crowd burst into laughs.

Listening to Dr. Poussaint and all his words of wisdom made me really wish my parents had of been there. They needed to hear it more that I did, especially about Poussaint's parenting infromation. My folks go by the old saying, "Spare the rod, ruin the child." Poussaint had much to say about parenting. Wise men say, "It takes a village to raise a child." Poussaint says, "No it don't! It takes a fortune."

I See Dead People!!!

It happen on a hollows eve; the place was Elmwood cemetary. All the little kids were being tucked in bed with faith that God would answer the prayers they said. As the sun was setting a classroom was beginning. The students lurked through the terrors of the night, hoping to find creatures of a fright.......

Ok, that's not what really happened. But it would of been really cool if it did. It was actually a Tuesday afternoon and it was quite sunny. Me and my Honors Inquiry class were given a tour of Elmwood Cemetary by Mrs. Bodayla. Sounds frightening, doesn't it? In all honesty, it was quite humorous. We were shone really cool headstones; one of which that made the person seem quite insignificant. Her headstone read,"Dorothy Ann Whitaker: Born, Who Knows? Died,Who Cares?"
Mrs. Bodayla, whose toured many cemetaries around the world, had filled the class in on all things graveyard. She told us about how the early cemetaries were run by people of horticulture and how some cemetaries are on a grid pattern but most are usually not. The class also learned about the symbols on a headstone. Headstones with a lamb symbolizes innocence; meaning it's of a child's. Headstones that feature a tree that's chopped symbolizes a life that's been cut short. It isn't neccessarily a child's headstone but a young adult. The symbols go on and on forever.
Speaking of forever, one student felt a bit uncomfortable visiting the cemetary. She felt that it was an univiting place. As if their body may be dead and gone but their spirit lives on forever. Indeed, it did give off an univiting vibe. The bridge that leads into the cemetary can only fit one car at a time, which made it difficult for many to enter. The cemetary was nicely keep but it was centered in an urban gutter side of town. Hmmmmm. Interesting.
Another interesting fact about Elmwood cemetary is that it is the original burial place of Nathan Bedford Forest, a founding member of the KKK. Remember him back in my blog entitled "A Park to Remember". Well there just so happens to be a lot of people wanting him and his very large statue back at Elmwood cemetary and I'm one of them. The thing is, I think that Nathan would fit right in at the cemetary. His headstone would help compliment the cemetary even more. I mean, who wants a creepy spirit like Nathan Beford Forest in a public park? Because when he starts scaring all the little kids , who ya gonna call? I'll tell you who to call, GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

In Whitman's Words and Mine

Beat! Beat! Drums! is a poem written by Walt Whitman that describes how what was being looked at as a short lived war is going to turn into a long, drawn out war. Also describes the thought of how the civil war was disrupting all aspects off life, both adult and children, civilian and soldier. Whitman's words were very inspiring. I dedcided that I would write a poem inspired by his. However, after a deeper anaylsis of Beat! Beat! Drums!, I realized that I already had. A Beautiful World is a poem I wrote after the 9/11 attack. I entered it into a poetry contest and became a semi-finalist. My poem was published in The Colors of Life, an international library poetry book.

A Beautiful World

A beautiful world,

A world full of kindness and grace,

A world that's just a beautiful place,

A world were no one stands alone,

A world were no one is without a home,

A world were peace is abound,

A world were love is all around,

A world were everyone believes in God,

A world were parents don't have to use the rod,

A world were war does not exist,

A world where people laugh and reminisce,

A world where the sky stays nice a blue...

Wow!

Wouldn't that be so beautiful if it were really true?

Facing History and Ourselves

Last night I was presently surprised at how profound, interesting, and insightful the lecture given by Dr. Alvin S. Poussaint at the Hutchinson School was. Dr. Poussaint managed to speak on very heavy subjects such as race, poverty, outreach programs, and violence in a conversational and insightful manner. I was truly impressed by his insights.

The section of the lecture that stood out the most to me was his assesment of corporal punishment in the home and in the schools. Dr. Poussaint believes that when a parent "spanks" their child too often, it sends the child a message that violence is okay, and even necessary for survival. He even went on to suggest that prolonged child abuse negatively effects the thought and logic portion of a child's brain, causing them to have violent reactions and preventing them from having proper conflict resolution skills.

That portion of the lecture stood out to me because when I was growing up, I had one parent who believed in corporal punishment, and one who did not. I spent the majority of my time with my mother, who did not believe in corporal punishment, and I had other siblings who spent more time with my father who did. As a result, I am much more soft spoken, and a firm believer in conflict resolution, while they are not. While my other siblings are much more disciplined, I feel as if they lack the self confidence needed to truly be well rounded. I have personally thought a great deal about whether or not I should "spank" my own child, and I still have not decided, however, Dr. Poussaint helped put corporal punishment in perspective for me and for that I am grateful.

A Day at the Dixon

Eyes that speak to you, landscapes that move you, and sculptures that entice you: these are the elements that the "Bold, Cautious, and True" exhibit posses. History lies within the walls of The Dixion Gallery. There, history is told without saying a word.
Never again will I attend a museum so casually dressed. Upon entering, there were middle aged ladies wearing their Sunday best, as if they were going to church or a tea party. I entered the Dixon decked out in Aeropastale sweat pants, polo, jacket, and tennis shoes. I felt so out of place. However, all of my out-of-place feelings went away when I entered the exhibit. Reading the timeline of Walt Whitman, and observing and reading about the portraits, made me feel secure in myself. My mother pointed out that if not for the war, we probably would've still been serving Master his tea. The exhibit featured a painting by Thomas Satterwhite's The Price of Blood really spoke to me and my mother. The painting shows a mulatto (mixed) young man being sold by his white father to another slave owner. Being very fortunate of not being a slave, I came to realize my freedom: my freedom of dress, freedom of speech, and freedom to just be me. There were other paintings and sculptures that stood out from the rest. The scuplture The Freedman by John Quincy Adams Ward really made my mother gasp. She was in awe of how Ward dipicted a "strong black man" as she said. All in all, the day at the Dixon was unlike any other day. It was filled with history, art, and appreciation.

Chapters 3 & 4 of our reading

In my reading of chapter four, I was amazed at the statics of Memphis in the fields of education. Memphis has a graduation rate of 48.5% which is one of the worst in the U.S. It ranked fourtieth in the graduation rates among the fifty largest public school systems. Our poverty rate is 23.5 %. I also thought about what I read about how we have a fortune 500 company, FedEx, in Memphis. If that is so then why are we in poverty? I have not heard about FedEx giving back to the community of Frayser in which I live. It is down the street from my residence, yet the community is still in shambles. Also it amazed me in chapter 3 how large shelby farms is in comparison to other city parks. I was also stunned that they were even considering putting an interstate throught Overton Park. How outrageous......

New Hunan

I went to New Hunan around 12:30 this afternoon with my friend Brittney. The food was amazing! We both ate from the buffet. They had an array of choices. There was of course rice, teriyaki chicken, pork on a stick, sweetcorn, french fries, etc. There were a number of desserts as well. I had chocolate and banana pudding, vanilla icecream, a cream puff, and a piece of cake. The atmosphere was very quiet and calming, except the occassional slamming of dishes. The pictures on the wall were beautiful! I really would like to have one in my bedroom. When first walking into New Hunan, I saw nothing but caucasian people. So I thought oh my goodness they have me in a place with nothing but white people. To my surprise they were not bothered by my prescence and in a few more minutes black people and other chinese people began to walk through the door. Their fried chicken was awesome also. Everything I ate was delicious and I plan on going back there one day this week with my boyfriend.... I can't wait to tell my mom about my experience when she gets off work at 4:3o. I was skeptical about going to a chinese restaurant because I do not like chinese food but everything was tasty today! The meal cost $15.15 for my friend and I together! That's a bargain. The buffett is $6.45 before 4:00pm and $8 and something after that time. Either way I had a wonderful afternoon. My friend and I departed ways around 1:30pm..... I plan on going back to this restaurant really soon ,no joke!

New Hunan

Give Honor Where Honor is Due.

The visit to the Nathan Bedford Forrest Park was interesting to say the least we had a very good discussion about Nathan Bedford Forrest and the reason why he is in the park. We all had different point of views for different reasons. I actually don't mind the fact he is buried there. I would just like them to write in that he was one of the founders of the KKK since that is a part of his history as well. I believe that was intentionally left out. We as a people have come so far that a statue in a part does not discredit us. If anything it shows how far we all have come not just blacks but whites as well. We should not say that this man doesn't deserve to be Honored because of his past. I believe people can change if given the chance.

Fianlly I Am Ready To Blog

There is so much that I would like to blog about, however I have decided to make my first blog about the inability to blog. My fellow Honor students I did not receive the blog information when you did. When Professor Branch asked us did we receive the blog I was a little concerned. However, I shook it off. I was thinking maybe I overlooked the email or it was sent to the spam folder. I also thought about which email address Jeni had. So I decided not to say anything and to recheck my email. I checked and checked for a whole week and still no email. Finally, I emailed Professor Branch and he forwarded the email to my address. I was excited and looking forward to beginning my Honors blogging adventure. So I opened the email and read it. Low and behold there was no link to connect me to the blog. With my hands on my hips and my eyes looking to the ceiling, I took a deep breath. This blogging thing was beginning to become a little more complicated than I thought it would be.

By this time, it was time for me to attend my SGA meeting at Macon. The blog would have to wait yet again. When I arrived at Macon several of my SGA mates were on the computers and I walked over to say hello. Zaina Branch (we share the same last name) was on one of the computers and she motioned for me to come over. She began to tell me about how she was receiving my emails. Immediately my energy efficient light bulb lit up. Zaina's email address at Southwest is tcbranch and I am tebranch. Oh what a difference one letter can make.

To make a long story short, Zaina forwarded my emails. I was able to obtain access onto this site and I am now blogging. I have one more comment. Professor Branch and Jeni, when are you taking me to lunch? I think I will order the Bloggers Delight!!!!

To honor or not to honor

Do you think there should be a statue of one of the founding members of the KKK in a public park? This question was one of the topics in a class picnic discussion at Nathan Bedford Forest Park. Some students didn't mind the statue, they were of African descent and weren't bothered by the honoring statue of the KKK member. They felt that the statue did no harm. Others felt that Nathan's army duties in the Civil War made him deserving of the honor. Many, such as myself, felt otherwise. Physically, the statue can't do any harm but symbolically, the statue makes a bold statement for a prejudice man whose ways of thinking are now unjust according to today's civil rights laws. It was mentioned that the people during Nathan's time period were not as educated as citizens are today which is why the statue was initiated in the first place. With that said, I can't come to a conclusion as to why it's still standing. Shouldn't a statue of someone like Martin Luther King take its place; a man who made peace and not war, a man who's worth a lot more remembering and a lot more honor. Moreover, it's still Nathan Bedord whose statue is seen for public display. When will they knock it? When will it get blown away during a massive hurricane? When will the statue of a more honorable man or woman be seen in a public park in Memphis? These are questions that for many years have gone unanswered. However, by peace and justice seekers alike, these are same questions that will remain asked for many more years to come until the resolution arrives. Nathan Bedford Forest, honored by his people but not mine.

A Park To Remeber

Sirens, old buildings, and a statue of one of the founding members of the KKK. These are the components of the Nathan Bedford Forest Park. Doesn't that sound like a great place to have a picnic. Hahaha! However, in all seriousness, the park isn't that bad. The lawn is nicely manicured with leaves rustling to the ground. Seemingly, well-bred, tax paying American citizens walk it's pathways. You can hear the traffic. The bright orange trolley does not go unnoticed.
Walking through the park, one may come across a gazebo-type structure with a sitting area an columns. The columns are decorated with some of the finest Memphis graffiti. Graffiti that says, "GAY SEX SHT ALL NIGHT." If you're wondering 'why is the 'i' absent in the curse word', don't ask me. I write it like I see it. Nevertheless, it's not the graffiti that should deter one from visiting the historical park. For some, it's the confederates who throw an annual meeting, shouting, "The south shall rise again." If a meeting of such were to happen, there's a call box for concerned pedestrians. Despite those meeting, people of all colors stroll through the park; Black, White, and Asian.
As my classmates and I look around, we notice quite a few interesting things about the park. For instance, the park isn't necessarily kid friendly. There's no sand box or money bars; only bent park benches and an old gymnastic-looking metal contraption seeem to exist. Futhermore, one of the biggest factors concerning the park is that it's not your ideal place to have a picnic. Yet, there we were, conversing about the history of Nathan Bedford while eating chicken salad sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies. Oddly enough, the time spent was quite memorable in a park that won't be forgotten.

Whitman the Nurse

The ideas that each artist conveyed in their pieces help to transform the Gallery into a time warp that made the words of every history book read up until that moment seem so bona fide. I love art, it is a silent voice of every artist emotions behind the covered canvas that can yell at a person to act or be a part of a cause. For every brush stroke I felt a million unspoken words that the people in the paintings wanted to say to me, but because they were frozen in time and space I was left to create my own version of their life story.

The reality of war was the subject of the exhibition…from death, to the irony of slaves fighting for freedom it all said “remember me”. There was so much to say about the exhibit and the many pieces of art on display, but the most momentum came from the gallery holding “The Wound-dresser” theme. Being that I am a nurse in process I could appreciate the hard work that Whitman put into trying to save the lives of the wounded and hurt soldiers. He literally went from looking for his brother to a nurse in a matter of minutes. I had just read about the health care changes that took place during and after the Civil War, but to see it from his perspective and to read the corresponding poetry about his experience made it more than just a story of the past but a reminder of my future in nursing.

Dixon Gallery & Gardens

One of the great things about this class is that even though I have little knowledge of Memphis and a not so great preconceived notion of what is it suppose to be, yet, I am learning around every corner there is something new and fascinating. The drive to the Dixon Gallery was not any different from any other drive I have made, but for some reason on my way down Perkins Exeter I was mesmerized by the beautiful park dedicated to the survivors of cancer. I had no intentions on being late for my tour so I headed there early to make sure I would not be late. Because I had a few moments to spare I could not help but stop and admire the art work right there in the park and think about how important that was for me being that I have lost so many of my family to cancer and also because I am a survivor myself.The entrance to the Gardens of the Dixon Gallery was deceiving as I thought that this was going to be a small place with a few trees to look at. But to my amazement I saw acres of grass that made me want to sit down and write about everything that I felt in that moment. I decided to take a stroll around before I had my architectural tour and found myself lost in thought of what it would be like to be a child playing in this garden. Illusions of fictional characters played around in my head as I took a seat in this enchantment imagining this must be how Alice felt in wonderland.
Reality set in as I made my way to the gallery to hear about the great Architect John Staub who built the home for the late Hugo and Margaret Dixon. The house itself was smaller than I would have thought should have been on 17 acres of land, but then again it made since with the flow of nature that the architect envisioned.
The tour explored the idea of simplicity in a family home and how Staub’s intimacy with his clients helped to create homes that did not just fit the clients need but embodied their personality. From the meticulous crown molding everywhere to the Georgian columns that greet you as you enter the home; Staub made sure to make the home tell the story of the owner while inviting you to come in and get comfortable.
You could see all of the French and British influences in the home, and in spite of the renovations to meet current needs the home still reminded me of a plantation house. From what I could gather about the Dixon family, they dedicated their lives to philanthropy efforts and charity through their love of art which brought me to the Gallery today. I have been to many art galleries and museums but today I was up close and personal with a Claude Monet, and that alone was the highlight of my tour.

A Walk In The Park...

As many of us took the first true look at the park that looks us in the eye as we embark on our journey of knowledge everyday, we began to realize who we were in conjunction to the images we have of the past. I am not one that let's my past persuade my future but in those moments that I realized I was walking through a park that my grandmother would have been killed if she stepped a foot in; I saw how the past was the momentum of my present and my son's future.
Everyday we are confronted with the idea that maybe we are not as free as we think we are in a country that takes pride in the ideology of freedom, but in comparison to the past we are the writers of not only our own future as well as those to follow.
I am not from the area so I knew nothing about the park, nor did I realize that the section of land I drove around everyday to come to class was actually a park. So the reading we were assigned opened my eyes to view my surrounds not as a whole but as segments that represent the sum. The land was not a park to me because everything about it said "stay away"; from the statue to the broken benches and the poor landscaping I was not appealed to be there. But, as we began to speak on out interpretation of the reading in comparison to the visions we now hold of the park and its meaning I discovered I represented the "Lost Cause" of yesterday and the hope of tomorrow.
Yesterday was more than a picnic in the park to enjoy get food and stimulating conversation, and the stroll that we took was more than a walk in the park. For some it was the reminder of the hurtful past, a broken idea and the glorification of a dream. While for others it was the force that drove us to be were we are today and striving for more than our great-grand(anythings) were offered yesterday. The stroll revealed trees that seemed to be crying, homelessness that is overlooked, dreams that have become reality, ideas of power that fell short and prayers of a race that did not fall upon deaf eyes.
Nathan Bedford Forrest's statue is a poor symbol of what Memphis was at the time it was erected because it only represented the ideas of a class or group of people that were so high on power they could not sober themselves enough to see reality. At the same time this small look into the past helps to remind most of us that we have come so far...sometime we have to visit the past to understand the future, but we don't have to live there to appreciate our present.

Nathan Bedford Forrest Park visit

Our picnic yesterday at Nathan Bedford Forrest park was a pretty good experience. Before our outing, I had walked through the park, but never really visited it. A lot of things were pointed out yesterday about the condition of the park that I had not previously noticed like the worn out benches and the unkempt exercise equipment. I had never noticed, but it really is different from all of the other local parks; it almost seems as if no one truly supposed to picnic, exercise, or play there. While the grass is kept nice and neat, and the trees are trimmed, all of the things that attract people to parks such as benches, playgrounds, and cooking areas are non-existent. In my opinion part of the reason is the fact that the park is so tiny, and the other part of the reason is that the park is so very controversial. I also finally got a good look at the statue of Nathan. It was very pretty and well made.

A lot of people are hurt by the fact that the grand well-made statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest, co-founder of the KKK and Confederate War General, stands in the park today in the 21st Century with a historical land marker. Perhaps the same amount of people would be very angry if the statue were to be torn down. I am pretty sure the statue will always be a subject of debate, but for now the pro-Nathan debaters are definitely winning.

Personally I do not like to speak on issues that I have such passionate feelings about because I have such a one-sided view. After leaving the park, I spoke with my great-grandmother who was born in 1909, and is still alive. She was very displeased to hear about our picnic in Nathan's park. She is old enough to feel the pain that is connected to the actions of the KKK. She (obviously) thinks the statue should be torn down. On the other hand, my great gran is very old, illiterate, and she does not have a progressive attitude. After talking to her, I felt as if that way of thinking is old-fashioned. The statue does not necessarily symbolize racism, it is more or less a tangible object that makes sure that African-Americans know and appreciate how far they have come as a people.

Picnic

Hi; The Honor class had a picnic and topic discussion on Tuesday at the Forrest Park. I would like to let you all know just how interesting, informative, and most of all fun, we had eating and discussing the topic. We brought blankets, food and drinks, and our discussion book. The discussion on Nathan Bedford Forrest, being a Confederate memorial figure/hero was very intriguing, stemming from the reading of Memphis and The Paradox of Place written by Wanda Rushing. Everyone gave his or her perspective on the historical aspect of the park and it's memorial. We all walk around the park to determine if we could get the feel or insight, the people had in 1905 at the memorial dedication ceremony of the Forrest's monument. We also discussed today's affect the park have on people. There were many observations and comments, each with a remarkable distinctiveness.

The food was good and the discussion was knowledgeable and exciting. I think everyone had a good time while learning at the same time. I would like to suggest to those who have not already visited the park to do so. Those who have visited it to revisit it again to see if they can get a new perspective on the park. You may want to do some research on the park and it's commemorative figure first, you will find it very fascinating.

Eloise

Nathan Bedford Forrrest Picnic

I enjoyed our picnic yesterday a lot. I just wish I had remembered to get a picture taken! I even asked Graham to bring his camera, but then I forgot to ask him to take a picture.

One more thing: we need an article for this event in The Reflector. Somebody needs to write an article, I'd say in the 400-600 word range, and get it to me soon. I'll let the first person who volunteers to write it have that assignment. It would be great if I could get it by next week.

I was struck by so much during our picnic, but especially how the Nathan Bedford Forrest Park really did seemed designed to encourage people NOT to linger. We talked about the few park benches, all of them broken. We noted that there was no playground equipment and that the pavillion was in bad repair with nowhere to sit. The only real "amenities" were the pieces of equipment put up for joggers, giving them a place to stretch. Again, the idea is this is a place to jog to, maybe jog around, but not linger. It's interesting: do you think that either on a conscious or maybe even a subconscious level the city government doesn't want people to spend too much time in that park because of the negative connotations of what it represents for so many people?

Presentations/Farewell; I'll miss you all!

I must reiterate, the presentations were beautiful!!! We did it!!! Time for some us to part ways as the semester has ended. We may not all see each other again, as for me, I’ll be graduating and transferring out. It’s going to be hard to say god bye to Southwest Tennessee Community College. This is one of the first major learning experiences I’ve had. I have been provided with a fostering staff, whom all contributed to my success, as they prepared me for institutions of higher learning in the process. Therefore, I’m not intimidated, since I know that I’m adequately prepared for my new ventures. I have spent more time in Southwest’s learning environment, than in any other post secondary institution I’ve ever attended. Attending Southwest has really altered my sense of Memphis. I was able to meet and be around a group of diverse people as I studied, and attended several of the campuses. This really helped me to interact with people since I’m an introvert. Each campus had a totally different atmosphere from the other. I’ve really grown to appreciate STCC for that. As for Honors Inquiry, it provided an experience like no other. I was able to think and learn amongst people who were on the same level as I. This provided for a unique experience in itself. For once I had the opportunity to learn from others verse aid others in clarification of course work. The idea of being around like minded people was almost a challenge for me, if I had not overcome the challenge early, in which case I did. The experience afforded me to be around likeminded people who in essence were very different from me. The opportunity allowed me to learn in a manner that was untypical of what I had previously encountered. It really benefited me to get involved in a course of this magnitude. It had way more to offer than meets the eye. The instructor made the course what it was. The agenda he laid out for us was unique in helping us to meet our educational goals. The instructor made the course much more interesting than what I expected. I welcome this approach from any instructor willing to be unique in educating their students, and for this I am quite thankful.

Why throw away good flowers?

Every morning on my way to school, I pass the big "M" on East Parkway. i really enjoy seeing all the colorful pansies on the hill. This morning when I drove by though, I was astounded to see three city workers pulling up all the flowers. I asked myself, why is the city of Memphis wasting time and money tearing up perfectly good flowers. The flowers were in full bloom and could have stayed there for quite some time and be very pretty. There are so many other parts of Memphis that could use sprucing up instead of that section of east Parkway which is already beautiful. The only explanation I can think of is that's it's on a section of street tourists would drive down to go to the various sights in midtown and downtown. I still think it's such a waste of time and money.

Elmwood Cemetary

I was so excited about the Elwood trip. It's the one trip I had been looking forward to all semester and I was not disappointed. Since I grew up visiting the family cemetery often to clean and have picnics there, I've always found odd comfort in being connected to the past in someway by being in one. Elmwood makes me particularly feel this way because of the history and diversity in the cemetery. I really like seeing the different monuments and markers. I was disappointed we didn't get to see Annie Cook's grave, but was glad I got to see Ginny Moon's. I plan on going back to see some of the graves we missed and do some headstone rubbings for my apartment. As we walked through I enjoyed the tour that was given, but found the private conversations I had with others about what I liked and how the cemetery made me feel much more educational. Thinking and talking about death with others made it an almost intimate experience. I was glad we were able to continue the conversation at dinner for those of us that were able to go to Jasmine's

Jasmine's was also an excellent restaurant that I'll have to go back to. I've never eaten tofu, so to order a vegetarian meal was unusual for me, but it was absolutely delicious. The atmosphere was also nice. I've eaten in midtown once or twice since moving, but an open-air dining experience where I could see all the people walking down the street was quite nice. After Jeni and I ate we went to Quetzcal to use the computers, which is a great Internet cafe/bar on Union across the street from campus for those of you who have never been. It too has a great atmosphere and is a nice place to study, catch up with friends. You do have to pay for the computers, but it's only 10 or 15 cents a minute.

We ended the evening by going to Theatreworks to see a production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. The small theater was intimate and fascinating. The production was excellent and I could not take my eyes off one of the actors the whole night. He was able to convey whole meanings just with his facial expression. It's playing through April 26 and you should go see it if you get the chance. I will definitely be going back to see other productions as well. Being within walking distance of my apartment means it may be my new favorite place to go for a night out.

Honors Presentation

I am really looking forward to presenting my Honors Project. It’s been a long way coming. This particular semester was one of shortest that I could remember. It went by really quick. However, I was able to learn a whole lot as I took an exploration into the Memphis scene. I learned a lot in class as well as a lot out of class. The trips filled with tours were extremely educational and beneficial for me. As I work on my project, I am hoping to reflect just that. My presentation is kind of small in terms of minutes; it should only hold you guys about fifteen minutes or so. But, it contains tons of informative information, which I’m quite sure, most will be able to use. I hope all is coming along fine with you all’s project. As I did my project, I took time to visit the main library on Poplar Ave, to research some of the statistics included in my project. I also took advantage of the opportunity to familiarize myself with the “fairly new library”. Of course, I know it’s not that new, but it is if you hadn’t been there as much. I prefer to study in environments that are much more convenient and that I’m familiar with. To the contrary, the main Library was all but. It was very unique from the school libraries that I am acclimated to. To say the least, it’s much bigger. It altered my sense of Memphis because here again, I was quite impressed. The previous times I’d visited, it was always to the kiddy area. The library has so more to offer. My concept was that, it wasn’t going to be too much different from when it was located on Peabody, couldn ‘t have been more wrong. I took time to observe who visits the Main Library on an average day? What I found was that, this was almost made to be a complex thing to figure, all types of people were there. It is a place full of diversity. For that, I’m able to appreciate Memphis more than for being known as “The Old South.”

Memphis Symphony Orchestra

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine called and asked if I would like a pair of tickets to the Symphony. I have always loved going, and the featured artist that night was Eileen Ivers, who used to play for Riverdance. Riverdance, for those of you who don't know what it is, is a group of Celtic dancers... most of the people are Irish, though there are some of other nationalities as well. At any rate, Eileen Ivers plays the violin (quite beautifully). It just so happened, that my youngest daughter was here that weekend, and she also plays the violin. So, I asked her if she would like to go to the Symphony. She will be 13 in May, and I didn't realize that she'd never been to the Symphony. I've taken her to the Orpheum for a play and she's been to other cultural things, but not the Symphony, and I was glad to be able to remedy that on a night that was so enjoyable to her.

When we arrived at the Cannon Center, there was a group of Irish Dancers performing in the lobby. They are based in Cordova, and they're quite good. Kacy and I watched the dancers for about half an hour from several different vantage points before the doors to the auditorium were opened and we made our way to our seats.

Once we were seated, we had an opportunity to watch and listen as the orchestra players warmed up. I've always loved that part of going to the Symphony. All of the instruments warm up individually, together, so there is a cacaphony of sound that is both pleasing and chaotic at the same time. Kacy seemed to enjoy it too, and because she plays in the school's orchestra, she was able to relate to some of what was going on. She spent a little time pointing out instruments to me, and though I already knew them, I enjoyed letting her show how much she'd learned in her instrumental music classes.

After 20 minutes or so, the Concertmaster came out and tuned the orchestra. The Concertmaster is the person who essentially holds the first violin chair, and in this case, the Memphis Symphony Orchestra's Concertmaster (since 1997) is Susanna Perry Gilmore. The Concertmaster is the person who sets the pace for the orchestra and they also let everyone know which way to bow. This is important because if the violins don't move their bows as one, the chaotic movements distract the audience and take away from the appreciation of the music. Also, different bowings can produce different sounds, so it's important for all of the strings (not just violins) to follow the Concertmaster's bowing. If there's a solo, the Concertmaster is generally the one who plays it, unless it's meant for the guest musician to play. So, when the Concertmaster comes out and tunes the orchestra, what she does is plays a certain note, and one at a time, each section will then tune (for instance) their "A" to her "A".

Now that I've explained what a Concertmaster does, I'll continue. The Concertmaster came out and tuned the orchestra. Then, the Conductor came out and the concert begain!

Our seats were in the Mezanine so we had a really good view of the entire orchestra. What was even nicer was that the music swelled up towards us, so we got, I think, a better and more full bodied sound than we would have otherwise. I've been on the front row, and on the floor in the middle, as well as up even higher than the mezanine for the Symphony, and I honestly think that the quality of sound was better where we sat that night.

After playing a few songs, the Conductor invited Eileen Ivers on stage to play. She has an entire band that plays with her - a traditional drum set, and an accordion-like instrument, and a couple of guitarists. One was bass, I know, and I think the other one was just - a guitar. Ms. Ivers plays Celtic music, but she also blends in a world music vibe to most of her songs as well, and she sings on a few numbers.

I don't think I can break the concert down for you much more than saying it was beautiful and amazing. Kacy said she had the best night of her whole life, which made me feel really good, and also made me very thankful for my friend who gave us the tickets.

After the concert was over, Kacy and I went to the lobby to purchase one of Ms. Ivers' CDs. Kacy was very excited to find that Eileen Ivers was in the lobby, talking to the people as they came up to her. She signed Kacy's CD and talked to her about playing the violin, making the night a complete success.

Kacy has already started asking when we can go back, and I'm considering purchasing season tickets just for the two of us.

the darker side of Memphis

in going around Memphis and talking to people, taking pictures, etc for our project, Faith and I have been reminded of how much poverty Memphis tries to conceal from the world. there are so many people living in pain, pregnant women on the streets, children sick, fathers separated from their families.

I know I feel, at times, that Faith and I are never going to get caught up financially and that things are so hard right now, but I have nothing to complain about. I am grateful that our family had a roof, enough food, and transportation. to say nothing about the tremendous blessing of school for both us and the kids. this project has not only reminded me of the pain Memphis contains, but it has also reminded me to be grateful for all the gifts I have.

Dining at Mrs.Winners

O.K, I visited Mrs. Winners on several occasions. I visited the one in Frayser, the one on Winchester near Mendenhall and also the one near Southwest’s Macon Campus out there off of Summer. Of all the three, I’ve had a good experience. A particular type of customers dine here, I see mostly African American’s when I go. I noticed that you mostly have to request to the employees the condiments you would like with your meal. This has never been an issue for me to do just that. I want to enjoy my meal right? However, my husband and out went out for breakfast, for the wonderful cinnamon rolls and coffee they have there. We decided to get actual food along with the sweet stuff. Wouldn’t’ t you know, I had gotten so in the habit of making the condiment request to the cashier, and was therefore quite astounded when she said, “it’s right there". A nice array of condiments to choose from, coffee creamer, sugar, syrup, different flavors of jelly and any additional condiments you might need depending on your order. My husband and I both, could not help but to notice this. It altered my sense of Memphis because, it seems to be, that some restaurants of the same food chain are better than their counterparts and also operate very different. This has really opened my eyes. Do I have to keep driving father east to get it? It does appear to be the case. I think the inner Memphis restaurants should do a better job of attracting good loyal customers, which is on them. I feel that when they fell to achieve this, their standards go down. It ultimately cuts the customer short, when you’re able to get better somewhere else, the same exact thing that you desired at the other. So now I know, in my experience, the fast food dining was obviously different out in Collierville verses the inner Memphis. I’m late, my husband has always been aware of this fact. When we go out for dining, the only direction he travels is east. I can see why, the experience is better and it’s worth the drive, if you don’t mind the few extra miles, which I don’t. You want o make the most of your outings; the reason you don’t opt to cook at home, right?

public dancing

a friend of mine posted a youtube video that was taken in a train station in the central train station in Antwerp, Belgium. over 200 people performed a dance that they had only rehearsed twice. the public was entranced and by the end you are not sure if all of the dancers are the ones who had rehearsed or if some of the public gets involved. it made me want to be a part of something like this and several years ago I was when we did One River Mississippi. however, it wasn't spontaneous like this and in the middle of such a public place like a mall, etc. it was well attended, danced on the banks of the mississippi, and filmed for Sundance. however, I find myself wondering what it would be like if a theatrical or dance troup, or just a group of like minded people got together and performed something like we see here in this video (I am posting the link) I wonder how Memphians would react. what does everyone else think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

Crawfish Festival

So I made it to the crawfish festival and my first venture into Midtown was a huge success I think. I walked to Bayou Bar and Grill with my folks. My mom was super excited to be going, my step-dad was less enthusiastic, but he's kind of hard to read sometimes. The first band, Snowglobe, did not impress me too much. But Amy LaVere was amazing. She sounded even better live, and she plays the bass, which really impressed me. The crawfish were not so great. I like mine spicy and delicious, but these where kind of bland. The vendors where really interesting though. I got something I think is uniquely Southern, if not uniquely Memphian-honeysuckle incense. It makes me happy when I light it up. I also got a purse made from a Johnny Cash album and album cover as a tribute to my new found love for Memphis music, even though I've been in love with Johnny Cash for years. The neatest thing about the Crawfish festival was the cross-sections of Memphis represented there. There were people from a biker gang, hippie people, college students, and yuppies all converged in the same area and having a good time together. Seeing all these interesting and diverse people made me really want to do an image makeover. I need a new, exciting, different look to reflect all the changes on the inside I've experienced this semester, due in large part to this class. Thank You from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has sat and talked to me as I pondered Memphis, my place in it, and life in general. You all have made me a much better person. I've even stopped using "Ya'll" when typing as a result of the blog. The miracles are endless.

As a side note, I tried another Memphis bar Saturday night. The Young Ave. Deli is a cool little bar with awesome food at the corner or Cooper and Young that had a great band, the Electric Nobody, playing. The post-card they gave me with the band info coincidentally has their picture in front of Arnell's which I know we've talked about in class.

Hustle and Flow Comments

One thing I've noticed about Hustle and Flow is the wide range of feelings and emotions we all have responded to it. A movie like this makes people think and hopefully about new things. I think we have to be careful in our thoughts not to judge or presume things about other people though. Those that know a little about my background, know that I should be the poster child for the lost soul working in a strip club, but I'm not. Not that I'm against it, I was just saved by a decent education and a really good job (that ironically I got because I was 16 and the guy in the pharmacy liked my looks.) I think we've been really fortunate in this class to being open to everyone elses ideas and speaking our mind without stepping on anyone's toes. A movie like Hustle and Flow,however, can step on some toes, and the way we've responded to it has the potential to step on some toes as well. I know I've gotten to talk to except Trenika about the movie, and I understand and respect her reasons for not wanting to see this movie. What amazes me if we've all had different opinions about what the movie says to us and what the movie means as an artform. I think the reason is we all come from vastly different backgrounds, but most of us have been exposed directly to this darker side of Memphis in one way or another. My father owned a strip club before I was born, some of us have worked in them, some of us have had to watch loved ones lost in this world. I think it's fortunate we've all been able to express ourselves honestly in this class and hope we continue to do so in a way that is respectful to where other people are coming from, even if we don't know exactly everyone else's background.

Help Please

I am writing the article on our viewing of Hustle and Flow and a little critique of the movie. I need some more thoughts on the movie, so that I can write a really good article. Does anyone have anything to say about it?

Wal-Mart visits

Hey class, I went out to Wal-Mart in Collierville a couple of days ago. I live near a Walmart. What a difference! Couldn’t’ miss it. For one, yeah the customers were of different ethnic backgrounds, of course. By this I mean, in some Walmart vicinities, the majority of shoppers are African American. On the otherhand, the day I went, I experienced a majority Caucasian crowd of shoppers. The atmosphere was such a nice one to shop in! It was evident that the store was way much cleaner and much more organized! I would definitely drive that extra mile to have a good environment to shop in. Unfortunately, the one I live near, we do not go there at night. Why? It’s just not a good idea, if you can read between the lines. Yeah, what ever you may be thinking it could possibly be, it probably is. Put it this way, if we desperately need something, although the Wal-mart is nearest, we drive a couple blocks more; to shop at Kroger, which is not too much farther. We do this for safety precautions. This has altered my sense of Memphis in way that you would think that a place such as Wal-mart would be family friendly just about at any location. Unfortunately, I’ve come to learn that it’s really not that way, not here in Memphis that is, because I found that some Wal-marts are definitely much safer than others, once I took a good look at it. Before we were really familiar with the Wal-mart I live near, my husband would escort me in and out of there each and every- time. He finally said, were are not coming back, this after we went in the store and only a few cashiers that were working with a crowd of angry customers. And in this part of town, it doesn’t feel good to be surrounded by multitudes of irate customers on the verge of mobbing, this from their own vicious and verbal remarks that they were shouting because of the circumstances. Well, that was enough for us. We more than mutually agreed, it wasn’t worth it. By the way the Customer Service at the Wal-mart was much kinder and customer oriented, they don’t make up reasons why they cannot accommodate a legit refund. You do not have to press the issue on something you’re rightfully entitled to as outlined in their policies under the appropriate conditions of their terms. My thought is that, the Wal-mart near my home, has had so many bad experiences, they do not know how to acknowledge a legitimate customer. Anyways, I do prefer to shop at Wal-marts that are not in close proximity to my home for that particular reason amongst other reasons.

Before Watching Hustle and Flow

I have decided that I think the best way to approach blogging about Hustle and Flow would be to write one blog before watching the movie, and one after. This is because, of all the people in this class, I am the closest to the world portrayed in the movie. I worked in the strip clubs. I have been around the local music scene since I was a teenager. I mean, I've actually met and hung out with Triple Six Mafia, Saliva, and Muck Sticky, to name a few. Also, I was at PT's the night that the movie makers of Hustle and Flow came in and filmed there. So, anyway, I think that a before and after would work great (I'm watching the movie with Krista tonight).

When I worked at the strip club, I met a lot of women with even more stories to tell. Some of them were really sad. Husbands died, leaving the woman to take care of her kids with no money and afraid. Husbands left with all the money, car, and house, and the woman has been a housewife all her life and has no job skills. A lot of them were there to pay for college, like me. Some of them got kicked out of their parent's house, for one reason or another, and didn't know what else to do. My point is, many people automatically look down on strippers and prostitutes, calling them drug-addicted whores who don't want to actually work and try to have a good life, and god forbid they have kids! It makes me sad when people say things like this, because I know that so many of them got dealt a really shitty hand in life and they had nowhere else to turn. I mean, if your babies where screaming because they are so hungry that they are miserable, and you know that if you don't get some food somehow they are going to die, but you just can't get a job because you have no job skills, what would you do? What about if your babies where violently ill and you don't have money for the doctor, and you can't get a job, what would you do? Become a stripper or a prostitute or let your babies die? Most women would choose the former. Thankfully, it never came down to that dire of a situation for me, but I did work there because my family just couldn't afford to send me to college, and I had to pay all my own bills because I wasn't allowed to live with my mother. Now, don't get me wrong, a lot of the women in that world are drug-addicted whores who want to get the most out of life with the least amount of work, and put their kids in danger, and have boyfriends or husbands who beat them. However, a lot of them are great moms or great college students. My point is, everyone in that place, even though it is a bad place where people who are lost turn when they have nowhere else to go, is just a piece of the world like any other job. Those people come together because they all have one thing in common - they don't know what else to do. I saw a lot of really horrible things in the ten years that I worked there. I was the victim of some really horrible things, but believe it or not, there was wonderfully brilliant moments that shined through the darkness brighter than anything I had ever seen. For example, my now dead friend Corie. If I had never worked there, I would never have met her, and I wouldn't know that there can be people in this world who do not have an evil bone in their body, and don't even know how to manipulate or be malicious. I thank God for that. Even though she was murdered, I believe that I was meant to know her, and to go through the pain of losing her. I mean, maybe I didn't realize how unique she was and how blessed I was before she died. I saw some really incredible acts of kindness. One time, one of the dancers let a girl that she had just met move into her apartment with her kids, because they were homeless. Another time, a dancer gave a girl she barely knew a car so she could get to and from work and take her kids to school.

As for the music scene, that one is a lot like the strip clubs, only with clothes...sometimes. Drugs run rampant in that scene, just like they do at the club. Men beat their women, just like at the club. Women don't know that they don't need a man to take care of them, just like at the club. Women go out and sell their bodies, just to return home and give everything they made to their boyfriend/husband/pimp, whatever. I have been backstage at every single venue in this city, except the FedEx Forum, and I have seen just as many horrible things there as in the strip club. In fact, one time when I was backstage during a Saliva show, Josie told his manager to get him some coke or he wouldn't go onstage, in front of everyone, and I mean A LOT of people, and nobody even batted an eyelash. Both scenes are Drugs, Sex, and Rock and Roll, as the saying goes. Most of the time, the two scenes just blur together into one scene - the strippers date the DJ's/musicians, or the DJ's/musicians end up DJing at the clubs, or go to the clubs all the time to do their drugs and get drunk. I have hung out with Saliva, Solace For Now, 666, Muck Sticky, Egypt Central, etc. - all in the club (some backstage at their shows). I've even done gigs in this city, with my not-so-great band God Shaped Hole.

Anyway, my point is that both scenes are pretty much one and the same, and everyone who finds themselves in that world is just a lost soul who's trying to find his or her place in the world and make it to the next day. There is so much sadness, if you take the time to put down preconceived notions and just feel what they feel. Some of them rise above it and get out and move on to live normal, healthy lives, like me. Some of them stay in it until they are old and can't do anything anymore, and are still miserable. Some of them die, like Corie. But all of them are still human beings that deserve a chance to be understood.

Crawfish Time

From the Memphis Flyer:

Of course, we can't forget about the festivals. The 14th Annual Overton Square Crawfish Festival Overton Square is Saturday, April 11th, from noon to 6 p.m.This annual festival, featuring one ton of crawfish, moves across the street this year to the Bayou Bar & Grill's new location. In addition to the crawfish, there will be Cajun fare provided by the Bayou as well as an excellent lineup of live music from Amy LaVere, Jump Back Jake, Snowglobe, and Johnny Lowebow. Proceeds go to the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk.
Next up, it's the Rajun Cajun Crawfish Festival on Sunday, April 19th, at Wagner Place between Union and Beale. You haven't lived until you've seen a crawfish race, but the main event is at noon when 500 pounds of crawfish are given away. Benefits Porter-Leath.

I will be going to the Crawfish Festival at Overton Square. Amy LaVere is an artist I mention in my Sun Studio blog. I'm staying until 5:30 or 6 and am going by at least 2 or 3 when my Mom gets off from work. If you would like to go earlier let me know. I can eat mudbugs more than once no problem. It's a close walk from my apartment, so if you're worried about finding a place to park, you can come by my place and we can walk over there together. Just reply to the blog or call me cellphone if you would like to go.

Memphis Bars

So I've been spending a lot of times in bars in Memphis since I moved. Mainly because it's a side of Memphis I've never seen and mainly because I missed out on the bar filled days of my early twenties sitting at home being Mrs. Cleaver. The interesting thing about the bars I've been to is how diverse they are. The first one I went to was Mugs off of Stage at the top of the hill in Raleigh. A friend of my mom's was having a surprise birthday party there so I stopped by to say hi. This was a true biker bar. Everyone was in dress in black clothes,denim, and leather, except for me in my dress and flip-flops. They were all also pushing or over 40, except for me again. I stuck out a little. I was so uncomfortable walking into the place. I lit a cigarette and called my mom on the phone so I could look all nonchalant as everyone stared at me. I saw my parents Mexican friend Miguel standing next to the door and was so excited when he said "hey chica" and gave me a hug. Once I got inside and saw all the people I knew, I was instantly comfortable. I was Kathy's daughter and everyone hugged on me and talked to me. I stayed long enough to drink the coors light my step-dad bought me, eat a plate of barbecue and say my hellos. The place was wooden floors with Nascar and beer signs on the wall, a door from a stock car on the wall, and an earthy gritty kind of place.I told everyone goodbye and went to find Miguel to say bye. I wish I was fluent in Spanish to know what was being said in the group of older Mexican men looking at me strangely as I approached their group. Miguel had his back to me, and when he turned and saw me, gave me a hug and told me to drive safe. I felt awkward as I walked away with a group of Mexican men looking at me like I two heads.

I left Mugs to go to a co-workers house so we could go hear a band play at Newby's on the highland strip. Everyone there was close to my age and a lot of them lived in or near Midtown. It was weird because I don't normally hang out with people my own age, and I only knew the pharmacist I work with. I couldn't hide behind being Kathy's daughter and had to strike up conversations and make connections on my own. But I did make connections and get to know people. I had a great time and was able to let myself go and enjoy things a little more because I wasn't hiding behind my mother's jeans. I stuck with a coors light, but added a shot of Jack since it was a bar that had hard liquor, and I was in a fun easygoing mood. Newby's consisted of college-aged kids. There wasn't much decoration other than behind the bar and the stage. A couple of booths lined the wall and there were chairs in the back, but no one sat in them. Most people were dressed in a similar casual, but flirtatious style. Not only was I a lot more comfortable out of my normal element, but found myself trying to make another guy, a introverted ITT student by the name of Easy E, smile and let loose. I could relate to the feeling out of place, and wanted him to feel connected to the rest of the group, even if I was an outsider to the group as well. I'm sure I'll hang out with this group of people again and try to do the things a typical person my age does which will be interesting because I've always been around and acted like a much older crowd.

A few nights later I went to Flying Saucer on Germantown with some friends from work I hang out with on a regular basis. I wore jeans and a satin tank with heels and everyone was a little dressed up as well. This bar too was filled with younger people, but at the end of the college age spectrum and slightly older. The bar was kinda cute looking with plates hanging from every surface. They have hundreds of beer choices, but I was a little overwhelmed and ordered a coors light. After a guy I just met, one of those friend of a friend types, made me taste every beer he ordered. I ordered a never heard of Purple Haze while he clued me in on the wonders of its distiller whose name I don't remember. I also had a shot of Rumplements (that's how it sounds, but is probably spelled wrong) because my friend bought us a round after telling us for weeks how good it was. It was horrible. It tasted like a candy cane sickly sweet and smooth, which is bad when you are a Jack Daniel's kind of girl. I was completely relaxed, even though I hate Germantown, because I was with close friends I know very well. I've never been overly fond of preppy, suburb types because I feel so vastly different from that world or lifestyle, but I fit right in. As long as I looked elegantly trashy on the outside, it didn't matter that I had little in common with the people at our table. I fit right in. I talked mostly to my friends, but the friend of a friend of a friend people weren't that bad and we exchanged small talk most of the night. I made two new acquaintances I might see in passing in the future, but meeting people wasn't a priority there.

I discovered a couple things about myself and Memphis on my alcoholic excursions:

• The places I felt I belonged, like Mugs which is similar to the bar I frequented in Millington, were the places I was most out of place.
• Even though I feel like a complete outsider in most situations, I fit in much more than I've been willing to admit. I'm not such a freak after all and can even make other people feel a part of the group.
• I'm most comfortable in bars and groups with a mainly male ratio. Flying Saucer was predominately male, and I had more fun once my girlfriend left and it was me and the guys. The conversation instantly changed, promptly one guy to ask if I should be hearing their discussion, until Sam said I was his guy friend with long hair and boobs. I am most comfortable being myself and people like me just the way I am.
• The only feminine thing about me when in a bar is my cleavage and heels, which makes me blend in or stand out depending on the bar. When going out dress codes matter if you want to be a fly on the wall or really stand out. Know Memphis and your surroundings to get the experience you want.
• Alcohol can make strangers friends, and intimate tells everything without a blink of an eye kind of friends to top it off. Look how well it worked for Skinny Black and DJay in Hustle and Flow. Just remember, these are not true friends yet, they just feel that way because of the alcohol. Don't invest your hopes, fears, and dreams with them until you connect on a more sober level.
• Memphis is filled with a diverse group of people, but nothing puts people at ease like taking an interest in who they are or a well placed compliment. This works especially well when coming from your sex of choice, and it golden and fail proof if they are attractive.
• Alcohol makes people more attractive and their character flaws seem endearing. All political agendas should be discussed over a beer (unless their Muslim because we don't want to offend) while you compliment a random talent of the opposing party and the people of the world would get along much better. I think the City Council and Mayor Herenton need to go out for a couple or drinks with Wendi C. Thomas. It wouldn't solve all of the problems in Memphis, but it might be a step in the right direction.

Hustle's Misogyny

I'm going to be the dissident voice here and say I don't think Hustle and Flow is misogynistic. Yes, the women are treated derogatorily. The men are very misogynistic, but I think the movie gives the women a silent strength that shines through in their situation. If we look at Nola (because I ABSOLUTELY loved her) she's a prostitute, but I didn't think she was trashy or skanky. She did what she had to do to get by. She knows she's capable of more, but not sure what that is. My favorite scene with her is when after having sex to get the microphone, she cries and yells as DJay. She tells him she lets him mess with her head, because it usually needs messing with, but not tonight. She's upset because she wants a say in who her tricks are. She's asserting that she still deserves some control in her life. She's not an overly great women however. DJay does mess with her head and she ends up in a suit,just like he said, giving the mankind speech to people like he gave her. She's lost and needs DJay to tell her what to do to some extent. She's come full circle from the beginning of the movie where DJay asks her what she wants out of life and she doesn't know to a place where she is starting to understand hersef and what she's good at. She's a women who is just as good at pimping as prostituting. I read an article where Craig Brewer was asked how he would respond to the people who criticize his portrayal of women in his films.

I don’t think that you’re talking about all women who have seen my movies. If we’re talking about women who are critical of the way women are treated or saying it’s a misogynist movie, ... I remember one time when I was in Atlanta and one woman said could you explain your thoughts on how women are treated in your movie? I said that moment when he throws Lexus in the street? I said you’ve seen that kind of brutality in movies before?She’s says “no I haven’t,” in this nice little White Southern voice. I said let me explain this one movie to you, it’s about this guy named Stan Kowalski. He’s with his boys and their house playing dominos and their girls are in the next room and they’re making too much racket. Stan’s wife is pregnant. He goes in there and takes the boom box, drunk as all get out, and throws it out the window. Then he starts beating on his wife and punching her in the face. All his boys are grabbing him, putting him under the shower to somber him up. Her girlfriend takes her upstairs and he punches his boys telling them, we can’t have women around when we’re gambling. Then he calms down and says, where’s my girl, my baby? He goes outside and yells “bring her down here.” Her girlfriends say, you can’t be beating on her like that and he yells ‘bring her down her, Stella, Stella! What does she do? She goes
downstairs and she fucks him and she wants to and we kind of want to too. His shirts all ripped, he got put under that shower; it’s Marlon Brando and he looks all good. It’s wrong, it’s really, really wrong!

(How great is it that I'm seeing both this week and didn't make the connection)

Brewer has an excellent point- all this is so wrong, yet so right. It's realistic. The movie may seem harsh towards women, but so is life. We can't have all movies portraying strong, courageous, uplifted women overcoming the men in their lives, because we would have a bunch of fake pretentious movies. I could identify with almost all the women in the movie. I have been the lost Nola doing what I needed to get by. I have been the Lexus being put out on the street by a man because I dared to question his authority, but I rejoiced when she got kicked out. I was even envious of her. As vile and vulgar as she was, she stood her own ground. I wished I had been kicked out at 16 because I grew the balls to tell my father he was my bitch and not the other way around. I grew up and became Yvette, eating alone in my religiosity because my husband was to busy living his own life. I have even been Shug, wide eyed and thankful because some small gesture from a guy meant the world to me. So I don't think the movie is hateful towards women, just honest. If we want a movie where women aren't portrayed as weak prostitutes or bitches who can be discarded, we have to find a way to stop being those things and to stop letting ourselves be treated that way.

The Journey Within

For me, one sure sign that I'm learning and growing is a sense of being uncomfortable.

Last night when we were watching Hustle & Flow in class, I had that feeling several times.

There are some truths about that movie that I want to address:
It is filled with vulgar and rough language &
It depicts what some would consider immoral acts.

However, I think it's easy to get distracted by these very real truths and miss the underlying message of the movie.

I saw people who were on the edge, hanging on with everything they had, and willing to do whatever it took to create more stable footing.

Memphis is filled with that type of person. Most of the people we encounter that we judge - addicts, hookers, alcoholics, gang members - those are people who are on the edge, fighting for stable footing. They're people who are in survival mode, just fighting to make it from one day to the next, and many of them never do find that stable footing. (Or don't know how to be comfortable with it when they do.)

I haven't read the reviews yet because I wanted to just write down some initial observations first, but I will write more once I've read them.

I've been thinking about the movie a lot since credits rolled, and there were some places that are cracking me up and/or playing on my mind.

• When Shelby (played by D.J. Qualls) saw DJay's bling, he said 'Oh man, I gotta get me one of those!' Funny to me because I'm convinced that was adlibbed.

• When Nola told DJay the trick must be working hard as he was, cause the trick had air conditioning and DJay didn't. The air was electric at that moment.

• When Key went to see DJay in jail, and said he and Nola would like to discuss some things with him, if he had time. DJay said 'for you, I got 11 months'. Earlier in the movie, Kay had told DJay that their music venture had to work because he was losing hope in life. I think DJay was telling Key that Key's future played a large part in him beating Skinny up. I think DJay would have retaliated for the slight that Skinny dealt him, regardless, but I think also that the weight of so many futures was on DJay's shoulders, or at least that he felt that weight. I think he felt somewhat responsible for Shelby and Key and Yevette, and wholly responsible for Nola and Shug and Keysha.

I think that's all I have to say for now. I'll say more after reading the reviews.

Oh, and Kathryn, that *was* Josey Scott.